Written to my dear friend, Paul, in 2007
We have known each other forever...it seems...(or does it).....As we have reconnected through this lovely on-line haven, memories have flooded my mind...I can never remember any bad memories so I am assuming there weren't any... You have always been a wonderful, well-liked, caring person, it's no wonder you have a million friends and always seem to pick up a few strays along your way.
You have and always will be an awesome and dear friend...I love the way you look at life, most of all I love the way you capture it. You see ugly things and make them beautiful...you see beautiful things and capture them in ways no body ever could see imaginable...you have a gift, my love. I don't think you ever came into my office without a camera in your hand...if you did, it's only because you were in the middle of developing another great moment you had captured. You have given me pics of me I didn't even know you took. I think you even gave some to Micah, Trent, and the rest of the boys in the office to cut up and make fun of me with....oooh how college was fun with you around. How could I not have ever found you sooner? You drove me everywhere, except for the time I test drove that car and drove you around for the afternoon...Every time I left your side I kissed you...I didn't want it to be the last time I saw you...although looking at some of the pics that I have, I see YOU. Every newspaper picture, sports picture, cheer, Scrappy, me, whatever...I see YOU. The times you took me in the dark room just amazed me at what talent and precision you had. What patience and dedication, what pure talent you possessed. It got to a point where I could pick up the newspaper and I could tell if you had taken the picture without looking at the credit. I just knew I would see your name attached to some Time Life Picture of the Year....
I tried forever to find you after college....our lives take us down paths we never imagined that we would choose. It doesn't mean that we've given up...just a new journey to fulfill our lives...or does it?
I always said, I didn't care what I did, I just wanted to enjoy getting up everyday and go to a job I absolutely couldn't wait to get to...I had it for awhile, then things changed and it was just a job I went to....I'm in sales and part of me gets to do what I love to do most everyday....act. That's all it is...acting...
You're right, the work isn't ever done...you say you slave and slave, but after one big project only comes a bigger one...and you're back to the stress, working long hours, it only gets deeper and darker and you're sucked in. And life sucks the very essence of your soul until you say "fuck it" and walk away...
You are successful, you don't need material objects to make you happy, or to prove your success...just like we don't need stupid paper on the wall that tells how much money we spent on college. We don't need photographs to show each other how pretty we are...we already know this...it's a given phenomenon!! hahaha
I am not ashamed of you...I am so proud that you recognize your self worth. You recognize that maybe everything isn't as it seems and you're scared shitless of any change...Jump in the pool with me, my friend, the water is warm...
Your success is not measured in the amount of material objects you can see and touch, but by the fullness of your heart. 2 things to remember about "stuff"...You can't take it with you when you go and everything is replaceable...
You know more than what you think you know, my dear...you have a high opinion, but where is your self esteem? Where is the friend who used to lift my spirit after my arguments with Judy on how to run a fucking college paper? I know deadlines and I also know money...money is what gives us a deadline...and "if I want the whole damn paper to be in color, damn it I'll wait all night for these ads to come in!!" That's why I kicked ass and took names along the way...that's why I'm not in advertising anymore...
I KNOW you...I seriously KNOW you. You like Nascar, Bueno, beer, and naked photos of women...oh, that's taking naked photos of women...sorry. Who cares if the people around you start to know you? When did you start giving a damn to what people think? Who says good people don't deserve good things? Who said your degree had to match your job? We'd all be screwed!!! You're good at many things, you only give yourself credit for just a few...
Be open and honest with yourself...what makes you truly happy? Where will that take you in life? Can you take a step back and ask yourself this without compromising your values, ethics, and morals? What do you truly believe in? You need to start with believing in yourself. Like I do. I believe in you. I love you and absolutely adore you. You're an amazing person with uncanny wit. You make me laugh. You're a light and we all have dim days...You make me want to jump in that green Camaro, pull the top off and sing "Pour Some Sugar On Me" the whole way to Florida at high volume just to see you smile...because I would do it if you said the word....and if I had a green Camaro...
There are forks, my friend, you just have to know which path to choose, believe in yourself as you choose it, and know it was taken for a reason. Robert Frost knew what he was talking about...Leave your own trail...autograph your work...leave a legacy...have no regrets...
You are a good person...you have no idea how many of us strays that you have picked up along your journey that you have truly touched....It's through your eyes I have seen such beauty...
"I thank my God every time I remember you." Philippians 1:3
You have and always will be an awesome and dear friend...I love the way you look at life, most of all I love the way you capture it. You see ugly things and make them beautiful...you see beautiful things and capture them in ways no body ever could see imaginable...you have a gift, my love. I don't think you ever came into my office without a camera in your hand...if you did, it's only because you were in the middle of developing another great moment you had captured. You have given me pics of me I didn't even know you took. I think you even gave some to Micah, Trent, and the rest of the boys in the office to cut up and make fun of me with....oooh how college was fun with you around. How could I not have ever found you sooner? You drove me everywhere, except for the time I test drove that car and drove you around for the afternoon...Every time I left your side I kissed you...I didn't want it to be the last time I saw you...although looking at some of the pics that I have, I see YOU. Every newspaper picture, sports picture, cheer, Scrappy, me, whatever...I see YOU. The times you took me in the dark room just amazed me at what talent and precision you had. What patience and dedication, what pure talent you possessed. It got to a point where I could pick up the newspaper and I could tell if you had taken the picture without looking at the credit. I just knew I would see your name attached to some Time Life Picture of the Year....
I tried forever to find you after college....our lives take us down paths we never imagined that we would choose. It doesn't mean that we've given up...just a new journey to fulfill our lives...or does it?
I always said, I didn't care what I did, I just wanted to enjoy getting up everyday and go to a job I absolutely couldn't wait to get to...I had it for awhile, then things changed and it was just a job I went to....I'm in sales and part of me gets to do what I love to do most everyday....act. That's all it is...acting...
You're right, the work isn't ever done...you say you slave and slave, but after one big project only comes a bigger one...and you're back to the stress, working long hours, it only gets deeper and darker and you're sucked in. And life sucks the very essence of your soul until you say "fuck it" and walk away...
You are successful, you don't need material objects to make you happy, or to prove your success...just like we don't need stupid paper on the wall that tells how much money we spent on college. We don't need photographs to show each other how pretty we are...we already know this...it's a given phenomenon!! hahaha
I am not ashamed of you...I am so proud that you recognize your self worth. You recognize that maybe everything isn't as it seems and you're scared shitless of any change...Jump in the pool with me, my friend, the water is warm...
Your success is not measured in the amount of material objects you can see and touch, but by the fullness of your heart. 2 things to remember about "stuff"...You can't take it with you when you go and everything is replaceable...
You know more than what you think you know, my dear...you have a high opinion, but where is your self esteem? Where is the friend who used to lift my spirit after my arguments with Judy on how to run a fucking college paper? I know deadlines and I also know money...money is what gives us a deadline...and "if I want the whole damn paper to be in color, damn it I'll wait all night for these ads to come in!!" That's why I kicked ass and took names along the way...that's why I'm not in advertising anymore...
I KNOW you...I seriously KNOW you. You like Nascar, Bueno, beer, and naked photos of women...oh, that's taking naked photos of women...sorry. Who cares if the people around you start to know you? When did you start giving a damn to what people think? Who says good people don't deserve good things? Who said your degree had to match your job? We'd all be screwed!!! You're good at many things, you only give yourself credit for just a few...
Be open and honest with yourself...what makes you truly happy? Where will that take you in life? Can you take a step back and ask yourself this without compromising your values, ethics, and morals? What do you truly believe in? You need to start with believing in yourself. Like I do. I believe in you. I love you and absolutely adore you. You're an amazing person with uncanny wit. You make me laugh. You're a light and we all have dim days...You make me want to jump in that green Camaro, pull the top off and sing "Pour Some Sugar On Me" the whole way to Florida at high volume just to see you smile...because I would do it if you said the word....and if I had a green Camaro...
There are forks, my friend, you just have to know which path to choose, believe in yourself as you choose it, and know it was taken for a reason. Robert Frost knew what he was talking about...Leave your own trail...autograph your work...leave a legacy...have no regrets...
You are a good person...you have no idea how many of us strays that you have picked up along your journey that you have truly touched....It's through your eyes I have seen such beauty...
"I thank my God every time I remember you." Philippians 1:3
Always,
T
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