Sunday, January 31, 2010

February Quotes

I've decided that for February since Valentine's Day is this month and this is the first time in a long time I've had someone worth spending it with, I would make all of the quotes about love 'n stuff. If you think it's too sappy, shut your eyes...and your mouth, and of course, I mean this with the greatest amount of love behind it. Here's a hug just for you, now go spend some alone time if needed. xoxo I've got to get busy. I've got 28 days to plan.


Quote of the Day

Love just isnt about the hugs and kisses or the I love you's or the I miss you's, its about the butterflies you get and the chills that run down your spine... that pain you get when he walks away and you dont know why

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Quote of the Day

Well it's very simple... do whatever it takes. You can't fail if you don't give up.

Friday, January 29, 2010

I Know What's Hot

Quote of the Day

We all need something we consider worth getting up in the morning for. Whether it's real or not; healthy or destructive; tangible or false is irrelevant... when you've got nothing to hang onto, deception can seem pretty inviting.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

I Am Better Than Your Kids

Oh Emm Gee! This is one of the funniest things I have ever read. It's in my bag of arsenal when I'm having a bad day. I was reminded of it this morning when I was doing some research for my upcoming trip to Turks and Caicos when I came across a really, really bad picture that some kid drew and I found myself analyzing it just as this guy does. I stopped myself and put this together for you. Don't get me wrong...I have kids who love to draw and write me stories. I had some of their masterpieces hanging in my office and I threatened each one of my coworkers if they made one peep about them. However, it never stopped ME from judging their kids artwork. After all, I am reigning superior being to all, and HUCK: I'M. NEVER. WRONG!!

I am better than your kids.
If you work in an office with lots of people, chances are that you work with a person who hangs pictures up that their kids have drawn. The pictures are always of some stupid flower or a tree with wheels. These pictures suck; I could draw pictures much better. In fact, I can spell, do math and run faster than your kids. So being that my skills are obviously superior to those of children, I've taken the liberty to judge art work done by other kids on the Internet. I'll be assigning a grade A through F for each piece:

Megan, age 4
First of all, I don't even know what this is. If it's supposed to be a dog, then it's the shittiest dog I've ever seen.

Kyle, age 8

You spelled America wrong asshole. Also, I could have sworn America's colors were red, white and blue. There's no yellow anywhere, traitor.

Lisa, age 6
Holy shit, I almost had a seizure when I saw this one. Three words: too many colors. Also, eggs aren't supposed to have ears, dipshit.

Cameron, age 4


Bryce, age 10
This one wouldn't be too bad if the color were kept inside the lines, you picked a new perspective, used non-abrasive colors and asked someone with talent to paint it for you. On one hand I want to give an A for effort but...

I win.

When I go into work next, I'm going to surprise all my co-workers and put up pictures of myself instead of their ugly kids and their inane drawings.
The premise: I can draw better, spell better, and run faster than your kids. My skills are obviously superior to those of children.

Jon, age 8
Ding Ding! Here comes the shit-mobile. I've never seen a fire truck that needed to be shaved. I would rather be burned to death than be saved by this hairy piece of shit.

Rachel, age 7
That's interesting, everyone in this picture is white. Even the rainbow is white. Perhaps in an ideal world, everyone would be white isn't that right, Rachel? Or should I call you RACIST? Nice try, Hitler.

Jason, age 6
This one would receive an "A" if the assignment was to throw as much random shit onto a paper as poorly as you can. I've pissed patterns on snow that look more coherent than this.

Seth, age 4

Kelly, age 9
This was a Christmas gift from Kelly to her parents. Good job Kelly, now pack up your shit and find a foster home. If my kids tried to pass this off as a gift, they'd come home from school and find all their shit outside in a box. What a lousy gift, seriously. You give them video games and toys, and they give you some half-assed drawing with a crooked tree. I wonder how much a gift like this would set someone back. Five, maybe ten minutes to find a napkin and some markers?

I can't believe how much I rule.
Now that you have had some lessons in critiquing artwork, go have some fun at the expense of others. :)

Quote of the Day

You change for two reasons. Either, you learn enough that you want to or you've been hurt enough to have to.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Quote of the Day

The difference between physical attraction and love is the ability to see the same person at their best and at their worst and still desire them without one false step.

~Adam Chamness.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Quote of the Day

Once you've been through hell, You'll never forget what the flames felt like.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Four Square

Want to play a new game? Want to be more connected to your friends? Well, then grab your ball and pick a square. FourSquare is a new social broadcasting application that allows you to find your friends, explore the city while earning points and badges along the way. Huh? you say? Look, go check out their site. Apply it to your iPhone or Blackberry and everywhere you go just check in. You earn points and get super cool badges as you check in. You can even become "mayor" of a location if you've been there the most. I'm the mayor of 10 locations, bitches, and I don't plan to be overtaken! I'm all over the place! Some venues have set up special discounts for those that are mayors or have accumulated "points." It's a fun tool to let people know of great venues (perhaps) for Happy Hour, to let them know where you currently are so they can meet up with you, or great places to go when you're on vacation or just out and about in your own city. The app also provides you a map for all of those who get lost or refuse to stop and ask for directions, ahem, men???? So download it and add me as your friend. As you can see, I just got started but I've already unlocked several badges and trying to figure out how to unlock more while exploring and meeting new friends. I'm 2 steps ahead of you and laughing the whole way. So run and catch up! There are only about 200,000 participants so far, so as you can see, it's still brand new. Here are a lot of the badges that you can unlock:

Newbie...First check-in

Adventurer...10 check-ins to unique venues

Explorer...25 check-ins to unique venues

Superstar...50 check-ins to unique venues

Bender...Checking in 4 nights in a row

Crunked...Checking in to four or more venues in one night (after 6pm)

Local...Checking in at the same venue 3 times in 1 week

Super User...Checking in 30 times in one month

Player Please...Checking in with three members of the opposite sex

School Night...Checking in after 3am on a school night

Don't Stop Believin'...Checking in 3 times to venues tagged "karaoke"

Gym Rat...Checking in 10 times to venues tagged 'gym' in 30 days.
Overshare...10 or more check ins in 12 hours

Animal House..."Off the Wagon appreciates your business. COLLEGE!" (This may be an NYC-specific badge.)

Webby..."A wise microcelebrity once said: 'I won a Webby' is the new 'I have a website.' You may not have be named King or Queen tonight, but please accept this Webby as a token of just how special we think you are."

Douchebag...Check in to venue(s) tagged "douchebag".

Photogenic...Checking in at three places with a photo booth

Ziggy's Wagon..."Waffles and tacos and dumplings and BBQ and... looks like you've found 3 of your city's legendary food trucks. Enjoy!"

16 Candles..."Treat yourself to another cupcake – that’s 5 birthday shout outs from you!"

Babysitter..."Forget those “Bender” and “Crunked” badges – you’ve conquered the playground circuit!"

BFF..."♫ The only one for me is you, and you for me ♫ 10 check ins togeeetthhherrrr! ♫"

Engaged..."I got engaged on foursquare and here’s the badge to prove it."

Entourage..."Look at you, all checking-in with 10 of your friends in tow! Can you be any more popular?"I’m on a boat! ..."♫ This ain’t Seaworld, this is as real as it gets / I’m on a boat, MF’er, don’t you ever forget! ♫"

JetSetter..."Hopping around the world one airport at a time… congrats on your 5th airport check in and safe travels!"

Jobs..."3 Apple Store check ins! Show this badge to the hipster at the Genius Bar to redeem your new Apple Hoverboard! (… or not)"

Pizzaiolo..."This badge is reserved only for the true pizza connoisseur: slices from 20 different pizza places. Well done!"

Road Warrior..."You’re making the world a mappier place one check in at a time!"

Super Mayor..."A special shout out for holding down 10 mayorships at once!"

Swarm..."50+ people are also checked-in here – it’s a foursquare flashmob!"

Warhol..."That sure is a nice collection of art gallery check ins (10 different galleries!)"

Zoetrope..."That brings you to 10 movie theater check ins! Now, can you pick us up a large popcorn while you’re up?"

Gossip Girl...I have no explanation for this one.

Twitter, yes, I Twitter so shut your face, defines it as:

Four·square n. a way to check-in and share your location.

There are city specific badges and also convention show specific badges. As this application takes off, there will be a lot more badges. Perhaps, eventually, you can make up your own badge for special events or your place of employment, etc. If you have some ideas for new badges or just some cool ideas, don't hesitate to pass on the information to the Foursquare guys, Dennis Crowley and Naveen Selvaduri.

According to Mashable the new Blackberry app has launched joining iPhone and Android users.

So jump on the bandwagon and tell everyone you were cool before they knew it was cool to be cool. Your serve!

Quote of the Day

"I think every day is made up of tiny little tests. Some are tests of character. Some are tests of fortitude. Others are tests of friendship. And if you're lucky, when it really matters, you'll pass with flying colors."


Sunday, January 24, 2010

Quote of the Day

The question isn't 'who is going to let me'; it's 'who is going to stop me.'

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Quote of the Day

"I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person."
~Audrey Hepburn

Friday, January 22, 2010

Quote of the Day

Have the courage to fail big and stick around. Make them wonder why you're still smiling. -

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Rearview Mirror

There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore... and who always will. So, don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

'Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.'

Quote of the Day

It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor.

~ Max Eastman

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Quote of the Day

The lower your self-esteem is, the more likely you are to believe that someone else holds the key to your happiness.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Quote of the Day

Opportunity does not knock, then knock again, and then leave a note saying, "sorry I missed you."

Monday, January 18, 2010

Quote of the Day

Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back, it simply means that you are two steps ahead.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Quote of the Day

The most successful people are those who are good at plan B.

~James Yorke

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Quote of the Day

The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next.

~Mignon McLaughlin

Friday, January 15, 2010

Razor's Edge

One day while Huck and I were in the shower, yes mom, we were showering together to conserve water and, oh yeah, I am 37 years old!, I heard this noise start up and it sounded similar to that of swarming bees.

Me: Why does it sound like bees in here?

Huck: It's my razor.

Me: Why does your razor sound like bees?

Huck: It vibrates.

Me: Your razor vibrates? Why does it vibrate? What's that supposed to accomplish? Won't you cut yourself?

Huck: *BIG SIGH* I don't know why it vibrates, probably just another marketing ploy by Gillette to sell more razors and jack up the price, but it works.

Me: Lame.

As he put it up on the rack hanging in the shower I just looked at it. It was daring me to use it and fall in love with it. Whatever. I am fine with my cheap 6-pack women's razors that come in a variety of pretty colors. Suck it, Gillette.

Many months have passed since that conversation and that damn razor has taunted me EVERY TIME I have stepped into that shower. I have used it multiple times on Huck and I just have to say...USE. YOUR. IMAGINATION. There's something romantic in shaving a man's.............

neck. ;)

The other day when I walked into our bathroom I noticed a AA battery lying on the counter. I immediately ran, not walked, to my special drawer by the bed to see if anything had been disturbed. Nope. Yay. Anyway, a couple of days later Huck said he was missing the battery he laid on the counter. (I had put it away in the drawer for future need.) His battery on his totally-awesome-cool razor needed it because it was dead. That's why that S.O.B. had not taunted me for a couple of was dead.

It started chanting my name almost immediately after CPR was administered or whatever Huck had to do to revive it. I finally gave in one morning earlier this week and used it. This monstrosity of a razor has 5 freaking blades and one on the edge so it has 6 in all! Did I mention it vibrates? I don't know exactly why it does or what it's supposed to accomplish, but I really don't care because IT'S SOAWWESOME! My legs were in shavers heaven. I almost shaved my head just to see how well it managed. We became BFF's instantly and the affair had begun with Mr. Gillette Fusion. I tried to hide my secret from Huck as long as possible, but he quickly found out when he asked me if I had used his razor. Whatever do you mean, honey? No, he didn't find the razor by my side of the bed...I left it on in the shower. My secret is out, apparently I have to go buy my own now.

Quote of the Day

You don't have to be a "person of influence" to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

~Scott Adams

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Quote of the Day

You can tell a lot about a person by the way he handles four things: a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Quote of the Day

Everything I'm not made me everything I am.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Quote of the Day

The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible.

~ Richard M. DeVos

Monday, January 11, 2010

Just One More Day...

Her name is Katie Kirkpatrick, 21 yrs old. Next to her is her fiancée, Nick, 23.
This picture was taken prior to their wedding January 11th, 2005, 5 years ago today.
Katie has terminal cancer and spends hours in chemotherapy.
Here Nick awaits while she finishes one of the sessions.

Even in pain and dealing with her organs shutting down, with the help of morphine, Katie took care of every single wedding planning. Her dress had to be adjusted several times due to Katie's constant weight loss

An unexpected guest was her oxygen tank. Katie had to use it during the ceremony and reception. The other couple in this picture are Nick's parents, very emotional with the wedding and of course to see their son marrying the girl he fell in love when he was an adolescent.

Katie, in a wheel chair listening to her husband and friends singing to her.

In the middle of the party Katie had to rest for a bit and catch her breath. The pain doesn't allow her to stand for long period of time.

Katie died 5 days after her wedding. To see a fragile woman dress as a bride with a beautiful smile makes you think... happiness is always there within reach, no matter how long it lasts.....lets enjoy life and don't make it complicated. Life is too short.

Work as if it was your first day
Forgive as soon as possible
Love without boundaries
Laugh without control
never stop smiling even if you don't know the reason.

Please pray for those suffering from cancer. We all have someone close to our heart who has suffered or is currently suffering from cancer. Prayers are always answered. Please feel free to post this powerful message for awareness.

We can't control the future only the present, and even then we are not in control. Make everyday count and live it as if it was your last. Just like Katie.


Quote of the Day

You wanna know what living life to the fullest actually is? It's waking up on a Monday morning with no complaints. It's knowing you always deserve to laugh. It's doing what feels right no matter what. It's doing what you want to, no matter how stupid you look. It's about being yourself, cause no one can tell you you're doing it wrong.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Quote of the Day

"If for one minute you think you're better than a sixteen year old girl in a Green Day t-shirt, you are sorely mistaken. Remember the first time you went to a show and saw your favourite band. You wore their shirt, and sang every word. You didn't know anything about scene politics, haircuts, or what was cool. All you knew was that this music made you feel different from anyone you shared a locker with. Someone finally understood you. This is what music is about." ~Gerard Way

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Quote of the Day

"Life's greatest comforts is being able to look over your shoulder and see people worse off, waiting in line behind you."
~Chuck Palahniuk, Rant

Friday, January 8, 2010

Quote of the Day

"To me, the glass is half-empty some days & half-full on others. Sometimes it's bone-dry. Or overflowing."

~Mary Alice Monroe

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Quote of the Day

"The thing is--fear can't hurt you any more than a dream."

~William Golding

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Quote of the Day

If your presence doesnt make any difference, your absence wont either.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Quote of the Day

Be my guest; rain on my parade. But I have the biggest freaking umbrella you have ever seen.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Recommended Reading

Holy New Year's Resolutions! I haven't made any yet. I'm really trying to find some very personal issues that I will make myself strive to accomplish. Last year I made a resolution to read a new book every month. During hectic months I no more than even touched a book except to dust underneath it. But I read four over the holidays. It doesn't go towards my "12." So I FAILED. W.T.F? Huck and I have started a new competition. Remember the last time we had a competition? I WON. I will say it again unless you didn't hear me the first time, I WON BITCHES! I hate to lose. So I took him up on that there little competition invite. We will see who reads the most books in 2010. Of course he is giving me grief over the book I had already started and was a mere 40 pages into on the 340 page book. "It doesn't count." Someone is VERY SCARED. Fine. I will still beat your ass regardless of your stupid rules. So in light of the competition, I have listed a few books I recommend for flirty, fun reading. My suggestion to get started? Half Price Books or Amazon.
11. The F-Word by Jesse Sheidlower and Lewis Black
Happy Reading!

Quote of the Day

Losers aren't the people who don't win, losers are people who are so afraid of not winning, they don't even try.

~ Little Miss Sunshine