What's Next?

One of my favorite feeds that I read daily is from HGTV.  I get a kick out of the designers thoughts of what THEY think is awesome and what I think is dreadful.  I'm most in awe of big, workable kitchens that I can spend days making donuts and consuming alcohol in a very hip manner. I really enjoy most of what they share with them real big, pertty pictures and all....until TODAY.  First I'm going to show you the picture which was almost the first thing they showed.  Then, I'm going to tear it apart dissect it....

"I love the whimsical, yet modern feel for these indoor swings" ~Kayla

Really, Kayla? 

First, If I'm going to put a swing in my bedroom, it's not THIS kind.  It's one my boys can't see until they're 28 or on their wedding night, whichever comes first.

The REAL problem here is the decorating in this country monstrosity, not the swing.  The ONLY good thing about the swing is that it kinda covers up the other crap in the room and maybe that was Kayla's point, but I didn't read any further because I had to clean up the vomit on my laptop, sorry small family.

I hated that the brick wall was painted white and not left the original color.  My eyes were fixated on that brick wall, wondering what color the original was and my eyes jumped out of my head when they found the Brady Bunch wall paper to the left.  All I could think of was Marcia brushing her hair 100 times in her room with this same (looking) wallpaper.  It's hideous.  Maybe this is grandma's room, but then why would grandma still have the My Little Pony collection above the bed? She was way too old for that mess.

The bed looks rock hard, actually I'm thinking it's a table since they covered it with a picnic tablecloth.  Perhaps they're trying to keep with the country theme?  Then why the Frankie Goes To Hollywood coverings for the swing pillows?

None of the furniture remotely matches in style or color and that bothers me. The only things that interested me was the shag rug and it looks like the hardwood floors are originals from way back.  It's a shame that they have this other crap to offset them.

I'm A Little Bit Country

 A couple of weeks ago, I rounded up the troops for pictures.  It's been awhile since we've had the chance to have professional pictures taken.  I found this photographer through another blog that I read and was ecstatic when I found out she was 20 minutes from me! When I arrived, she threw this vintage dress my way, had me put on my cowboy boots and denim jacket and she started shooting.  200+ pictures later in under an hour and I was on my way to take Jake to the airport for his summer in Texas. These are just a couple that I have included.  It looks like my Christmas cards are done.  Just act surprised when you open yours in December.

A Day on the Lake

Some are just entertained by a beautiful day on the boat with friends, the rest of us are entertained by E.

Jar of Hearts

Spring in Seattle

During a Saturday morning walk in June, I was dreaming of warmth and sunshine and spending long walks on the beach with my boyfriend and secret lover, Bradley Cooper, when I took Huck's new EVO phone and snapped at some pictures along the way.  Huck thinks I'm jealous of his new phone that has the battery life equivalent to the size of a gnat.  In reality, I'm only jealous at the clarity of the pictures it takes.  I'm not a good photographer at all.  Maybe after I finish remodeling the house, I will take a class or two, if Jimmy Hoffa allows me to.

Drinking Buddies

 The Saturday morning ritual in Starbucks....then donuts.

July Playlist

Holy hell was I even thinking this month? 

Spring Cleaning in July

This morning I got up at 6:30 thanks to people who work in the Central timezone and are too lazy to look up the 425 area code and the PACIFIC timezone it lies within. Grrr. 

Let me start by saying how OCD I am if you don't already know.  I have to constantly stay busy.  Since I quit my job, this house has never been so lucky nor seen so much improvement since the day it was built, 5 years ago. I'm not saying that I DO ALL THE WORK, it's because I love to and if I didn't, I would go mad, more than I already am, and Huck would have to lock me in a round rubber room.  It kind of sounds peaceful in a sadistic kind of way, but nonetheless, I take on these improvement projects myself in between shuffling kids back and forth to camps, writing some scripts for a project, and many trips to the bathroom to pee because y'all, I have THE WORLDS SMALLEST BLADDER.

Anyway, I sat down at my computer this morning and this spot caught my eye.  It was between the "backspace" and the "home" keys on my computer. I couldn't wedge my pinkie in to get it and it started laughing at me.  I got up and went and got a q-tip. I picked off the backspace key and gasped! I RAN and got the 500 count box of q-tips, the saline solution, the electronic duster in a can, and tweezers.  I started picking off the keys one by one and each time was startled by what I found, after I huffed the remaining contents of the can of cleaner.

Cupcake crumbles (I can't believe I let any get beyond my mouth so it must have been one of the kids)
Enough hair to construct a wig
OMG is that BACON???
a small family of four
a rabbit
and 2 lbs of dirt which will work well in the garden

I never realized how disgusting my keyboard on my laptop was until I started prying off the keys one by one.  I was q-tipping in one instance and grabbing hair with my tweezers the next.  I was one dead hooker away from making Gil Grissom happy with my work.

My keyboard is all clean except my space bar keeps getting stuck.  I guess I'm going to have to get the Sheriff to get rid of the squatters that have relocated to one end of it. Oh, and Huck, we need more q-tips.

Memorial Day Weekend

 

May was a busy month. I know, I know, I've heard it all, "Everyone is busy but THEY have time to get things done...." OR "You don't work, what do you NOT have time for?" SHUT YOUR FACE, OK? I try and keep an immaculate house. I organize and reorganize closets because there is still room to fit some of Huck's sh!t inside of it because I can't throw everything away at once. Clueless. Everyone needs to hang out with me for a day to see what I do and the amount of Cheetos I consume. The iPad has a TON of cool applications I have found and I've also walked the dog. Actually, I went to Texas twice. and I've been building a wall. You would think I was a professional by the looks of the wall I built around my heart, but NO, dirt is much more tricky then any boy who's ever walked into my life. Seriously, A REAL WALL. There are some instances where I just sit and watch HUCK sweat, and then there are mornings when I'm in a dress and flip flops in the pouring rain trying to put the finishing pieces to the ground level in the front. Hot, huh?

Anyway, my second trip to Texas was over Memorial Day weekend. By the time I landed it felt like seconds before I was leaving again. I hate trips like that only because I don't feel like I even breathed. This trip was to go to my Ex-husband's wedding. Yes, you read that right, MY EX-HUSBAND'S WEDDING. I was gung-ho when I told Dougie that I would make it back and bring Huck along for the ride. As soon as the plane started to descend, I had this gut-punch feeling come over me and it was like I opened my eyes for the first time at what I was actually coming home for. WTF am I doing? Can we turn this plane around and I'll just send a gift and a card? How am I going to make this event NOT ABOUT ME? Seriously, I got through it and had a great time. We laughed and laughed about anything and everything. I introduced Huck to Billy Bob's. He learned what a honky tonk was after much discussion on why it was better than being called a cracker tonk. He had never been to a bar with Bull-riding in it, and we actually saw a concert by a Filipino-American C&W artist, Neal McCoy. He had Texas overload by the time we stumbled back through the Stockyards to the truck. My favorite part of the whole wedding was when strangers would ask me how I knew the bride and groom and I would cheerfully say, "I'm Doug's ex-wife!" Huck thought it better to say I was Doug's baby's momma.

PRICELESS.