Goodbye 2009

"Maybe that's just growing up. When you're young, you tell yourself things like 'Well, if it didn't work out, it wasn't meant to be' as if that actually meant something just because it sounds like it does. I think you can say something like that so blithely because you expect to stumble onto something else just as wonderful just around the next bend in the road. But people are rare perfect unique things and just because everyone really does live a life full of farewells doesn't mean you shouldn't at least realize what it really means to say goodbye to something that meant everything. Just because you WILL survive and get over it doesn't mean you should let it go."

-Adam Duritz

Happy New Year from me to you. Make this decade better than the last. Go and leave your mark, make it a good one.

T

Merry Christmas

"The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the Heart."

Yakov Smirnoff

I Believe

There's something magical about Christmas. You know what I am talking about. My 8 year old has this excitement as he knows Santa is coming tonight and he can't wait to go to bed. My 11 year old sits on the fence whether Santa is real or not. While although he leans more on the non-believability side, part of me thinks he still wonders because of certain things that happen that he cannot figure out. He's too cool to admit it though. The minute he doesn't believe is when he knows he will get kicked in the teeth. Kidding....kinda. I just repeat the words my mother used to tell me when I was 16, "If you don't believe in him, he stops coming to see you." I still believe in that man. I could draw the parallels of religion here, but I have to feed my unicorn and go to bed. There are some things you never stop believing in. :)

I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah (sorry that I am late, Ronnie).

Much love to all. xoxo

T

It's All Fun & Games 'Til....

I love games. I get into trouble for being on the computer or my phone for playing games. I love the type of games that make me think. I could spend hours upon hours playing Sudoku and often do. Don't get me started on the Facebook games, you know the word one, the brain one, and the geography one. Someone last year got me a collection of "brain games" to go onto my computer. It's the lamest thing Microsoft has ever "invented." One of the games is trying to spot all of the differences between the 2 pictures. OK, Can I tell you how much of a whiz I am at that game? I started at a young age while sitting in the doctor's office reading the "Highlights" magazine. That's when I became master of that there domain. This software is so lame that I can tell you that I get more excitement from the "spot the difference" in People Magazine that I pick up weekly. Now, I'm not the geeky gamer, and that's not a cut down to the nerd herd. I figured my kids are well on their way to becoming gamers. A bunch of us went to play Laser Tag for Jake's birthday and I can tell you that out of the 13 of us that went, my 8 year old ended up with the high score. Guess who I am going to pick to be on my team when we are at war? Get that kid a real gun for Christmas! E, if you're reading this, act surprised on Christmas Day. xoxo

Anyway, we had a team get together at one of our colleagues house to celebrate the holidays. We, of course, had the white elephant gift exchange. Everyone was talking about how you want to be number 1 so that way you get to pick your gift and take someone else's when someone picks yours, etc. We all know how this is played. It's usually high excitement even though I usually get stuck with something lame. This year was no exception. Guess who drew #1? That's right, ME!!!! I was so excited to pick and someone steal my gift so I could pick again. Repeat 3 times. Nope. I picked a gift that I thought I would like and get to keep. It was wrapped all pretty in metallic blue paper and had an "Ernies Games" ribbon on it. A new GAME FOR ME! I unwrap it, it's quiet, all eyes are on my gift to see if it's something they want to steal. It's some game called Fluxx. I think it's one of those games like Scene-It where you have the original then you have a million "themed" versions. I guess Fluxx is supposed to be pretty fun.....except MY version. My version is called Stoner Fluxx. That's right, the toking kind. This is the prude side of me that has never touched an illegal substance in my life. And for all of those that want to comment how it's legal in certain locations or for medicinal reasons, I can still tell you that that's great for those that need it or live in those locations, but I still haven't touched it and have no desire because I am 36...and have a life. So there I sit holding my game practically begging for someone to take it. I successfully got to bring it home with me. I'm thinking I can regift it for next year and indiscriminately hide it so no one knows who brought it. I'm hoping it's a church function too. That's my idea anyway. Apparently Huck has a better one when I walked in and saw him trying to open it! WTH??? He said he wanted to read what the cards say on them. I'm all, You can see the 4 examples they have nicely referenced on the back, you don't need to revisit your baking days. And he's all, Regifter!!! I think I'm pretty witty and have a great sense of humor, but I think something like this screams "Hey come look at my meth lab I built in my bathroom, bring your extra sudafed!" Just sayin'.

The Nutcracker

This Friday is date night and I'm excited to say that I am taking Huck to his first showing of The Nutcracker. This is another reason why I love Christmas. All little girls want to be a ballerina and I am no exception; the tu-tu's, the shoes, the dance, I can't get enough. I still secretly wish I at least had a ballerina's body. The long muscular legs and thin arms. The delicate and graceful movements. I took ballet in college as a P.E. credit and my instructor was always telling me to soften my movements. She knew I was a cheerleader and I swear she always winced when I started to dance. I continue to take hip hop classes, including strip hop (no poles...think Pussy Cat Dolls) in my old age for the work out. Thanks to my fabulous instructor, Kari-Lee, she pushes the limits. I often go to class early to catch the end of the ballet classes and I simply admire.
WOW! I am way off track. I am excited to see this year's production of The Nutcracker. Tchaikovsky will hopefully keep Huck entertained instead of the ballerina's. Perhaps I will just have to wear my tu-tu.

T

A List of Things I Need to Get Done But I'm Stressed Out and I Didn't Fill My A.D.D. Meds Today Because I Was Distracted

Get my eyebrows waxed. They are starting to grab hold of strangers.

Plan Jake's birthday party for this weekend since his birthday was LAST Monday. I know, MOM OF THE YEAR.

Shred the stack of bills on my desk. I will think about paying them later.

Clean the house before Huck returns from Thailand so that he can't tell that I threw raging parties while he's been away for 18 days.

Fill A.D.D. medication. Perhaps then my list will get done.

Finish writing the post on the women who have influenced my life. The wine kicked my ass and I lost my thought. Perhaps it was just the fact that I couldn't see the keyboard anymore through the tears.

Buy my ticket to Dallas for Christmas and my ticket to Scotland for New Years. I should probably request those days off as well. Add that to my list.

Paint the gameroom so that Huck can't tell me no before I start. Because I know he won't repaint it. I hope he likes Pink!

Shave my legs since I went on an 18 day hiatus to protest Huck traveling to Thailand. At least I'm warm.

Proposals, Proposals, Proposals. I don't mean the one where someone gets down on their knee and presents a ring and a lame ass monologue that should be saved for the wedding vows when you can never think of something to say. I mean the ones for work whereas I will keep my little boss happy and keep my job for another day.

Laundry-mine

Laundry-Jakes

Laundry-towels

Post this 3 weeks late because, again, I forgot to fill my A.D.D. meds a LONG time ago.

T

December Playlist Explained

Because I feel I have to, so suck it. It was hard to come up with Holiday music believe it or not. I didn't want to but someone insisted that since it was December the playlist had to be Christmas-y. Most Christmas music makes me want to put a gun to my head very similar to the reaction I get when I hear the Wiggles or any other children's music. We all know that music plays a big part in our lives whether we want it to or not. We may share a special song with someone, music can take us back to a certain point in our lives. I can tell you that Tears For Fears will take me right back to Fort Worth Christian (shout out) and Jr high without a moments hesitation. Ahh, the memories. Anywho...This playlist took me half of the month of November to think about and decide. Even since I have posted, there are a couple of songs that I forgot to add, but it's just a reminder of how much my A.D.D. takes over my life and I just don't get everything done. Some of the music is obvious as to why I chose it, others for fun or extremely meaningful. Here we go.....

Santa Baby-This is the equivalent to I Saw Mama Kissing Santa Clause in my book. Kinda that naughty but nice song. Maybe it's just the thoughts that conjure up in my head and for that Santa won't visit me this year.

Mary, Did You Know-Yes, it says Clay Aiken. I'm not a groupie, but I can admit to the boy having pipes. This was not a song that I ever would have paid much attention to had it not been for this rendition, so there.

Kay Thompson's Jingle Bells-Because the original Jingle Bells is just plain 'ole boring. When I hear this song, it makes musical theater come to mind and all of the cheesy smiles and choreography that goes along with it. I am sure Justin Carrier has my back on this one.

Last Christmas-Because I can and 7th grade was just yesterday.

Better Days-Most people hear this song and do not realize it's a Christmas song. You have to listen to the words, oh! and pay attention. I find myself belting out the chorus and drumming my fingers. This song makes my dreams of becoming a rockstar reality...in the shower.

It's The Most Wonderful Tine of the Year-Your mom and your grandma love this song too, so shut your face and appreciate the good works of Andy Williams. This song oozes Christmas. I swear this song was probably playing as George runs through Bedford Falls in the snow as he realizes Clarence and God have let him live in It's A Wonderful Life.

White Christmas-There's something dreamy about Bing Crosby's voice...It's kind of like George Clooney's...grrrr.

Good Morning Blues-Ella James is awesome. This is a fun song I gotta shake my groove thang to. It's not your normal Christmas go-to song, so I like it even more.

Linus & Lucy-Because I can't get enough of the Charlie Brown Christmas Specials and this song is no exception...it's actually the song that plays when my friends log in to IM.

Where Are You Christmas-Faith Hill is the essence of sexy and sophistication. Two things I strive to be. This song is from Dr. Seuss's How The Grinch Stole Christmas. I didn't like Jim Carey's version, but I do love this song.

I'll Be Home For Christmas-Vanessa Whitwell is a beautiful friend of mine. We went through the Miss Texas Pageant System together a couple of times. She parted this world too soon on April 2008 at the age of 34. I miss her more than anyone will ever know. Her version of this song is beyond greatness, so much in fact that the radio stations in Dallas play this version over the normal ones. I stop what I am doing every time I hear it. Unfortunately it is not on iTunes. I can send it to you if you want it, just email me. It's awesome.

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas/Pine Cones And Holly Berries-The Osmonds....Yes, I said the Osmonds. Don't think you can deny that you once had a crush on Donny or Marie. I was devastated the day Donny announced he was engaged. Yeah, I was the most devastated 6 year old out there. My dad was the CFO for the Osmonds for a few years so don't think I didn't sit in their dressing rooms (when they weren't around, of course) and think I was hot stuff. The Donny & Marie Show was a hot Variety Show and thus was the beginning of me becoming a studio brat. I ran around and met more movie stars than most people do in their lifetime. I was never star struck until the day that I met my idol, Greg Evigan from the show, BJ and the Bear. Yeah, I hid my face behind my dad's leg the day I ran into him in the hallway as he was guest starring on the show. My dad proceeded to tell him I was his biggest fan and never missed his not-appropriate-for kids show. I about died while standing there, hidden, and wanted the 1 minute 30 second exchange to end before I burst into tears or melted right there into a big blob with ponytails on the floor. As I left the studio that day I was informed I had a package in the Green Room which was actually painted blue. Greg had left me a dozen roses for being his biggest fan. Did I mention he is 20 years my senior? I had high hopes as a 6 year old....and my extreme shyness got me my introduction into the pageant system thanks to my mother. Eventually the Osmonds became like family and I never knew the difference.

All I Want For Christmas Is You-I am not a Mariah Carey fan, but this song just vomits candy canes and gumballs, IMHO. It's sweeter than Paula Deen's Apple Pie. I just had to add it because I love Paula Deen.

Baby, It's Cold Outside-This is the version from the movie, Elf. Most people think that Will Ferrell is singing it, but he just lip syncs, Zooey Deschanel, however, does. I like it A LOT. (Said like Lloyd Christmas from Dumb & Dumber)

Christmas, Don't Be Late-Alvin & The Chipmunks are so annoying, but I can remember laying on my brothers top bunk in his room, playing this record over and over and over until we were silly. I have no idea how my mother tolerated this being played 100 times in a day. I may ask her about potential earplugs or medication back in the day. It was the 70's.

The Christmas Song-Need I say more? Nat King Cole is cool kids cool. It's the essence of every part of Christmas...just like Andy and Bing.

So this was my list for December. Most of these songs bring back some sort of memory for me. Believe it or not, this was a lot harder to put together than I thought it would be...Someone asked me why I didn't put Run DMC's Christmas in Hollis on my playlist. The playlist has to have some sort of taste. AMIRITE?

T

December Playlist

Santa Baby by Eartha Kitt The Christmas Collection

Mary, Did You Know by Clay Aiken Merry Christmas With Love

Kay Thompson's Jingle Bells by Andy Williams The Andy Williams Christmas Collection

Last Christmas by Wham! TwentyFive

Better Days by GooGoo Dolls Better Days

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year by Andy Williams The Andy Williams Christmas Collection

White Christmas by Bing Crosby The Christmas Collection

Good Morning Blues by Ella Fitzgerald Ella Wishes You A Swinging Christmas

Linus & Lucy by Vince Guaraldi Trio A Charlie Brown Christmas

Where Are You Christmas by Faith Hill How The Grinch Stole Christmas

I'll Be Home For Christmas by Vanessa Whitwell Home For Christmas

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas by The Osmonds 1976 Osmond Family Christmas

All I Want Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey Merry Christmas

Baby, It's Cold Outside by Leon Redbone & Zooey Deschanel Elf (Music from the Major Motion Picture)

Christmas Don't Be Late by Alvin & The Chipmunks Alvin & The Chipmunks

The Christmas Song by Nat King Cole The Christmas Collection

Classic Thanksgiving

I am thankful for my boys....all three of them. I love that we're all together for Thanksgiving, having fun, watching football, relaxing and going through the ads for all of the after-Thanksgiving sales we (I) am going to hit tomorrow. I am thankful for the wonderful friends I have and how they have touched my life in many ways this past year. Most of all, I am thankful for my family...right up to the point that I call my dad 2 minutes 27 seconds left in the 2 quarter of the Texas/Texas A&M game for the first time today to wish him a happy Thanksgiving and he is irritated that I am calling in the middle of a very nail-biting game. He loves him some Longhorns. He asked me to call him back at half-time. Suck it, dad.

My Best Friend

About 18 months ago I signed up for Facebook to reconnect with friends. For the past 18 months we have caught up and enjoyed (from afar) each other’s lives. I am no stranger to the publicity of my personal life on FB. Then again, I am pretty much an open book with BIG print. Since joining FB I have noticed several memes making the rounds among my contacts. See WIKIPEDIA for your question I need not address. Anyway, I'm not usually a fan of memes and couldn't tell you exactly why, I think it goes back to being forced to participate in group activities when I was growing up in church and how the trauma of having to act like I was having a good time is such that when someone even mentions Pictionary my brain starts to liquefy and drizzle out my ears. The quickest way to get me to sneak out of your party is to suggest we play charades, unless the rules are that you have to take a shot or undress every time someone yells out, "SOUNDS LIKE?" Then I'll be sleeping on your couch, naked and stealing your Ibuprofen.



I recently saw one going around where you're supposed to answer several trivial questions about your relationship, and I realized that as much as this website reveals about me, it says a lot less about the man who has captured my heart. So I thought I'd bring this meme here to give you a small peek at the person I spend my entire day with. Every day. All day every day. DAY IN AND DAY OUT. AND SO ON AND SO FORTH....




What are your middle names?

My middle name is Renee. Huck’s middle name is Ralph. Can you guess which one of us is a great-great-grandchild of Nazi’s?

How long have you been together?

5 months.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?


We've known each other for a year...He was one of the first people to take me under their wing when I moved to Washington.




Who asked whom out?

Hmmm... I guess that would have been me, except I didn't ask him out, I asked him to sleep with me, because I don't waste time.




How old are each of you?

I'm 36, he's (OLD) 37. This age difference is an endless source of amusement for us.... we are exactly 11 months, 2 weeks and 4 days apart. I’d get down to the hours and seconds but that would be a little OCD of me, now wouldn’t it?



Whose siblings do you see the most?

He’s an only child and I tried not to expose him to my little-over-the-top-stricter-than-my-father-Texas-bred-small-town-detective-not-afraid-to-use-my-gun-flesh-eating brother back in September. He did hang out with my aunt who was going to pack him in her suitcase and take him to Mexico with her. My family is a circus event AT. ALL. TIMES.



Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?

I think the thing that causes the most stress in our lives, and consequently the most stress in our relationship, is the same as it is for a lot of couples: work. It’s not actually the job itself, yet sometimes it IS. It’s more so the fact that we work side-by-side. LITERALLY. His desk is right next to mine...THEY. TOUCH. So when most couples get that break from each other during the day when one or both go off to work...we leave separately and go to work where we see each other all day, then we go home and see each other all night. I take more trips to the bathroom, just to get a moment ALONE and even then, he will text me or IM me out of shear torture. Our jobs don’t chain us to a desk all day long, we do actually go on appointments with the reps we work with. Many people wonder how we keep work and personal life separate and let me tell you how hard THAT IS but we do it. Just know dealing with that toll can upset the balance of the rest of our lives. I communicate much differently than he does. I tend to observe and grasp everything that I can. I internalize it and let it simmer until I vomit all of my thoughts and feelings and emotions at one time and it can be very overwhelming. Sometimes I just don’t express any thoughts and he's probably had to spend way too much time than is fair trying to pull things out of me. I'm working on that. I'm always working on that.



Did you go to the same school?

Uh, no. Remember that huge age difference? I went to 6 high schools between California, Utah, & Texas. Started at BYU then finished at North Texas. He grew up with a silver spoon in his mouth, went to some snobby high school in Bellevue, WA and then off to college to play baseball.



Are you from the same home town?

No. I grew up in a small town called Colleyville, TX. And did I tell you that Huck is from snobby Bellevue, WA? He’s learning to love my Southern style cooking wherein I add butter to EVERYTHING.



Who is smarter?

Huck is far smarter than I am and can retain details like a computer hard drive. He remembers everything he listens to. I have to work a lot harder to process information, but I'm far more driven and persistent than he is. I have to work twice as hard to be half as quick.



Who is the most sensitive?

Ahem. Next question.




Where do you eat out most as a couple?

One of our adventures is to eat at all of the top burger restaurants as chosen in SEATTLE Metropolitan magazine. Huck introduced me to Sushi which I am still trying to choke down and I introduced him to bacon. ON EVERYTHING.




Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?

Does Hell count? As of now, just Texas. Huck owes me a trip somewhere because I won a bet. Back in June or so we bet which one of our favorite baseball teams would end up with the better record TEXAS or the MARINERS. That was a no-brainer. There's also talk of a trip to Scotland.



Who has the craziest exes?

I wouldn't call my exes crazy as much as I would call the experiences themselves crazy. It's also that there are so many of them to keep up with. And I can't really talk about Huck’s exes as some of them are probably reading this right now. I will say this: none of his exes ever asked him to stick an object up their butt. He wins.



Who has the worst temper?

You may want to ask him how many objects he has had to dodge.



Who does the cooking?

Definitely Huck. I have a lot of dishes that I make, and I don't really vary from that menu. Huck loves trying new things and rarely ever goes wrong when introducing something new he found in a cookbook or on one of the many cooking shows he DVR’s. However, I often have to remind him to add more salt...and butter.




Who is the neat-freak?

Let's just put it this way: I have never mastered the GAP fold.




Who is more stubborn?

I am Southern-Capricorn stubborn, he is OMG-she-is-being-ridiculous-again stubborn, and, therefore, we have a lot of VERY HEATED PASSION.




Who hogs the bed?

Um....all 6’3" of him likes to lay right in the middle of the bed when he first crawls in so that leaves me this tiny sliver on his right....wedged between him and the 100 lb lab. At least once a night my feet will make their way to find his.




Who wakes up earlier?

Huck. He's always up at about 5 AM to go work out, or trying to disrupt my peaceful slumber. He has not figured out that disrupting my sleep is not healthy for him.




Where was your first date?

Las Vegas




Who is more jealous?

This information is protected by the therapist-client privilege.




How long did it take to get serious?

We don’t know what serious is. It’s been fun from the beginning. It was June when we decided to throw caution to the wind because of the whole work thing. We’ve recently come to the conclusion that we can’t live without each other...making those trips alone to the bathroom fewer and farther between.




Who eats more?

Hellooo, he's 6'3"!!!! He’s usually finishing off the meal on my plate. I can give him a good run for his money, but his portions are waaaay bigger.




Who does the laundry?

Someone cannot ever remember that he is not supposed to put my bras in the dryer, so someone is no longer allowed to do the laundry. Since he can fold like he has worked the sale table at GAP for 20 years, he can forever have that title.




Who's better with the computer?

I get the laugh as he shakes his head and says, “You’re ridiculous” when he looks over and sees that I have never backed up my hard drive or ran a software update.




Who drives when you are together?

Huck, but not because he's a better driver. OK, maybe he does only due to the fact that I’m quite the multitasker. I did learn to drive in Los Angeles and I’ve done enough driving for a lifetime, so I'd be happy if I never had to drive again. However, he's recently started to drive more slowly, I think it’s due to him getting older.




So this is a small, but significant look into who has captured my heart. Feel free to answer some or all of the same questions about your significant other in the comments, or leave a link to your website if you prefer answering there.

T

All In A Day's Work

I never will understand the way people think. What could possibly be going through their heads to make them not so smart? I was calling on several medical offices today to encourage them to transform their medical records over to an electronic format. Thanks to Obama, every medical office where patient paper records are kept has to change them to electronic format to protect the weak and innocent or something like that...Any Who, you can see how stressful it is as you look at the horror built into the faces of the records department and medical staff. You can see the lengths of football fields of medical files for every patient that has possibly graced through their door since 1492. I spoke with several today that were just finishing up this transformation with a sigh of relief and an exasperated, “It took us 9 months and we're almost done.” Seriously? Was someone hand typing each and every document one by one because your medical office could fit in my living room....OK, and the kitchen. So one lady tells me, “We don’t plan on doing that for the next 5-7.” “Like in 5-7 months?” “No, like in the next 5-7 years.” Mmmkay, “You know that by law (and I threw this out there loosely in case they had never seen a computer or ever heard of the Internet) you have to go electronic by the end of 2010?”

And that’s when it happened.

That’s when the gates opened up and I personally put down that there soapbox for this woman to climb onto and give me her every thought on the HIPPAA regulations in her loudest inside voice in which I generously wanted to throw out to her that I never once mentioned HIPPAA as I looked around the waiting room for some culprit I could point my finger at. I threw out an “Amen” so I wouldn’t be condemned to a life in Hell trapped in a cell with Jimmy Hoffa positioned next to a public toilet for interrupting or for not calling her “ma’am.” All I can say is that Fire and brimstone was falling all around me while she was going off on the urgency of HIPPAA compliance and the threat of getting fined for a violation....has anyone ever been charged?...are there HIPPAA police?...who's going to enforce THIS new law?...AND, OMG, BREATHE WOMAN, BREATHE. I MEAN, MA'AM!!

Onto the next office… where the receptionist said, “I don’t know if we’re already electronic or not.” Insert sarcasm here: Um, I’m going to go ahead and ask you to turn your head and look at all of the file folders you have catalogued to heaven back there and also on your desk. I am sure you have a room or better yet, a storage unit, filled with dead or non-current patients, am I correct? Well, just for future reference, you’re not paperless.” OK. That’s what I said in my head and, of course, I very politely, dripping with sweetness informed her that she most likely wasn’t paperless due to the stack of files I was pointing to. That's when she let out a hearty laugh. Wow. Please don’t be the one that's left alone with small children.

Every day is interesting at work and I could write daily on what me and my comrades encounter . It’s good stuff. You know who has better stories? Doctor's offices! I could tell you some juicy ones that I have overheard but then that would be a violation of HIPPAA and we just couldn’t have that now, could we?

Nothing Else Matters

This may seem like child abuse to a certain fraction of you, but I don't audit what my kids listen to. I never really let them listen to children's music ever since I could sing every damn song the Wiggles came out with and perform all of the dance moves to go with it. I think it was the day that I was singing one of their songs while I was in a store...BY MYSELF. I guess I should say I haven't ever introduced more to them because I was afraid it would induce seizures and/or homicidal behavior in their mom. I get enough of the repetitive, seep-into-your-brain-and-rot-it-from-the-inside-out tunes in the television shows they watch. HANNA MONTANA I'M LOOKING DIRECTLY AT YOU.
If I say the words SAY WHAT?!? I think I will trigger an unwelcome twitch in a certain percentage of you who have had to watch hour after hour of that kid running around with her hillbilly daddy and the overacted drama AND OH, HEY, I NEED THERAPY.
So they're growing up listening to my music, and that means they hear a lot of Pearl Jam, Foo Fighters, Relient K, and lately a lot of Drake. I recently made a CD of my favorite songs to play in the car: See November Playlist, but my oldest is always going NO NO NO, LET'S PLAY MY CD, MINE! What are you 2? And people, do you have any idea how many times we have had to listen to his CD? I don't even have to break out my superpower here, you know the one, where I tear off my button-up shirt to reveal a golden H on my chest that stands for HYPERBOLE! And I run around labeling things THE ABSOLUTE WORST or THE BEST THAT EVER WAS and when I have to wait on the phone for customer support for ten whole minutes I'm all THEY MADE ME WAIT SO LONG I DIED FROM DEHYDRATION.
That kid loves Heavy Metal, specifically Metallica and we listen to it all the time, every day. We're listening to it right now. It is his favorite, no other band compares, and he cannot stop his fingers from tapping on everything to its rhythm. And his head thrusting back and forth as if he truly was on stage. I know in some circles it is patently uncool to like Heavy Metal, and well, those certain circles can suck it. In fact I would have to say GIVE ME AN EFFING BREAK, and please go shave your ironic mustache. I grew up listening to Neil Sedaka, ABBA, and the Bee Gees, so I would say he's already ahead of me. My only wish is that I can at some point move on to another CD...like mine. I know, I know, it's about as likely as him looking up from his McDonald's for dinner and saying, "This again?"

Happy Birthday, Jake. Way to hit the big 11. Now go listen to your new Pearl Jam CD.

T

Calmness In Our Lives

I am passing this on to you because it definitely works and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the Oprah show, you too can find inner peace. Dr. Oz proclaimed, 'The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished.'
Sooooo, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Tequila, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now.

This gave me a good hearty laugh as my beautiful friend, Alissa G., passed it on to me early this morning. Thank you for putting a smile on my face this Monday.

T

This Is It

I took my oldest to see this movie much to his chagrin. It's sad to know that he will never know the MJ that I grew up with. He will not understand MJ other than what he was accused and what the media has guided him to believe. He loved every moment of the movie. It's the first time I have ever sat through a movie where as it ended, nobody moved. It was as though for a small moment, we didn't want it to end, we didn't want to realize that the King of Pop is gone. His music lives on as my child tries to mimic the moves until I have to get up and teach him the dance to Thriller.

This is it. This is the Michael I love. Traces of a boy suspended in between the gravitational pull of a miscarried childhood and the machine that made him the most grandiose entertainer the world has ever witnessed. Enjoying a sliver of downtime in a cable knit v-neck sweater, he is a style icon for the ages. This is the Michael I remember when I’m pumping my fist to “They Don’t Care About Us”.

T

November Playlist

Fidelity Regina Spektor Begin to Hope 2006
Get U Home Shwayze Let It Beat 2009
Starstrukk 3OH!3 Want 2009
Whatcha Say Jason Derulo Whatcha Say 2009
The End Pearl Jam Backspacer 2009
Fireflies Owl City Ocean Eyes 2009
Never Say Never The Fray The Fray 2009
Meet Me Halfway Black Eyed Peas The E.N.D. (The Energy Never Dies) 2009
Party In the U.S.A. Miley Cyrus Party In the U.S.A. 2009
Hide and Seek Imogen Heap Speak for Yourself 2005
Best I Ever Had Drake So Far Gone 2009
Society Eddie Vedder Into The Wild 2007
Chasing Cars Snow Patrol Eyes Open 2006
Forever Drake Feat. Kanye West, Lil Wayne & Eminem More Than A Game 2009
Russian Roulette Rihanna Rated-R 2009
Nightswimming R.E.M. Automatic For The People 1992

One Foot In Front of the Other

I was written a letter by someone who read my blog and it deeply touched me. It touched me in such a way that I actually carry it with me. I choke back tears every single time I read it. I want to share it with you, perhaps in some sort of way, it can encourage you.

Honest. Tough to deal with on many levels...not because of the infidelity (I understand your need to be close to someone). Difficult from the perspective that you found every reason to be happy and yet you were completely miserable. That can lead to harsh questions about yourself and the path that your life is taking and that, alone can raise doubts that are hard to dismiss. I can tell that the affair was hard on your estimate of yourself. Guilt is what you feel when you think someone should be looking. It's the little governor within that keeps us between the lines and often in our own private hell. But for all its moral outrage and self recriminations Guilt is not Truth, it is a judgement we make about our behavior in the absence of others. A kind of place holder judgement for when our courage will allow us to discover the truth. It has nothing to do with the reality of the situation and the truth about how you really feel.

I have no doubt that you loved your ex-husband with every fiber of your being. I have no doubt that somewhere along the line the love you shared was not enough to sustain you...for whatever the reason...and your choices cascaded from that sense of lack between you...THE LACK WAS NOT IN YOU...but between you. The hard part to accept is that maybe that lack would have turned to sufficiency with time, or with a word or with an act of faith and courage. That is not knowable. That grief will lay fresh within until time dulls the sharp wound to an ache. That ache will be the reminder that you have loved and lost. Nothing more, nothing less. Grieve for the love you lost and shed all the tears you can muster but Forgive yourself...You did nothing wrong. It failed to work out long before the affair. And that's okay.

"You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear. Do it! Develop an appreciation for the present moment. Seize every second of your life and savor it. Value your present moments. Using them up in any self-defeating ways means you've lost them forever."

Wayne Dyer

Author and Speaker

T

Fight Like Hell

Rules for Boys

Buy this book now—if you have (or plan on having) sons. I must thank Walker for advancing me a copy of his much anticipated book Rules for My Unborn Son. Gleaned from his popular blog, “the book of rules and accompanying quotes is quite simply an instruction manual for becoming a Good Man—industrious, thoughtful, charming, and of course, well-dressed.” It’s a book for the ages. Intended to be passed down from one generation to the next, it’s timeless in its wisdom and delivery.





















I’ve curated my top ten rules I’ve been steadily instilling in my two sons.


• Make sure your clothes fit properly.

• Nothing good ever happens after 3 A.M. Promise.

• Spend time with you mother. She’s cooler than you think.

• The key to good photography is not timing. It’s editing.

• Socks are not necessary in the summer, no matter how formal the occasion.

• Learn to tie a bow tie.

• When shaking hands, grip firmly and look them in the eye.

• Don’t be afraid to ask out the best-looking girl in the room.

• Surprise your dad at the office. Trust me, whatever he's doing is not as important as you.

• Never side against your brother in a fight.

Enjoy!

T

Do It While You Can

One day a woman's husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't "anymore."

No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more "just one minute."

Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say good-bye, say "I love you."So while we have it, it's best we love it, care for it, fix it when it's broken and heal it when it's sick.

This is true for marriage .....And old cars And children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents.

We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it. Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away or a sister-in-law after divorce. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what.Life is important, like people we know who are special.. And so, we keep them close!

Suppose one morning you never wake up, do all your friends know you love them?

I was thinking...I could die today, tomorrow or next week, and I wondered if I had any wounds needing to be healed, friendships that needed rekindling or three words needing to be said.

Let every one of your friends know you love them. Even if you think they don't love you back, you would be amazed at what those three little words and a smile can do.

Live today to the fullest because tomorrow is not promised.

from Live Passionately

Every Woman Should Have

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
...one old love
she can imagine
going back to...
and one who reminds
her how far she has come...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
...enough money within her
control to move out and
rent a place of her own
even if she never wants
to or needs to...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
.. something perfect to wear if
the employer or date of her dreams
wants to see her in an hour...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
.. a youth she's content
to leave behind...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
...a past juicy enough that
she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
...a set of screwdrivers, a
cordless drill, and a black
lace bra...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
..one friend who always makes
her laugh ... and one who lets
her cry...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
...a good piece of furniture
not previously owned by anyone
else in her family...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
...eight matching plates, wine
glasses with stems, and a recipe
for a meal that will make her
guests feel honored.
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
...a feeling of control over
her destiny...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.......how to fall in love without
losing herself...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
..how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend
without ruining the friendship...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
...when to try harder ... and
when to walk away...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
....that she can't change the
length of her calves, the width
of her hips, or the nature of her
parents...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
...that her childhood may not
have been perfect...but its
over...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
...what she would and wouldn't
do for love or more...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
..how to live alone... even if
she doesn't like it...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
...whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't
take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
...where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
.. what she can and can't
accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year...

FALL

There's something about my favorite season. The colors seem to magically change over night and the smell of Fall is in the air. Starbucks brings out the Pumpkin Spice that I get a shot into my white mocha with one sweet 'n low, because if you're gonna die, you might as well go into diabetic shock first. I can't get enough of the fall foliage in the Pac NW. Texas doesn't get colors like this. For some reason the leaves go from green to dark gold then brown in, I swear, a week. I've traveled to New York in the Fall a few years ago...8 to be exact and was struck by the beauty of what surrounded me 1 month after tragedy struck our Nation. I had no idea that there was a competition between the West and East coast for the most beautiful foliage. I don't know about you, but this time of the year also puts my soul at rest. I feel a little more relaxed, a little more patient. Perhaps its my soul gearing up for the hibernation of winter, better yet, it's probably the Xanax that's doing it.

It's Not My Fault!

Gone are the days of forever sunshine and warmth upon my face. Gone are the nights of running 2 miles at 9:30 PM in pure sunlight. Gone are the days that my boys play FOREVER outside and come in sweaty and physically exhausted from playing 18 freaking hours of pure sunshine. Now I feel as though I am racing against the clock to beat the last ounce of sunshine from disappearing behind the mountains before I arrive home. They tell me that this coming weekend I. WILL. LOSE. It has started to turn cold and all of a sudden I just got the blah's. It doesn't help that a certain you-know-who has ventured off to Thailand for 18 FREAKING DAYS! I will forgive him for leaving me in about 10 years or so. Ugh. (Dramatic sigh inserted here. You can even go as far as imagining me throwing myself to the floor for full effect.) After my courageous send off yesterday at the airport and one step shy of screaming to security that they needed to check the bomb in his backpack and 2 steps from declaring an International crisis in Bangkok to prevent him from going, I slowly turned my attention to work...not really. OK, kind of. I ran to several accounts to talk about, you know, work stuff, and, oh? Am I boring you? Me too. Somehow I discovered the cutest little store while I was out and about. What a coincidence! I parked right in front of it and it just amazingly SCREAMED my name as I got out of the car. I didn't take my purse with me as I grabbed my work stuff to visit the office NEXT DOOR. As I walked by, its magnetic force field pulled me right through that there door. "I'm safe, no purse!" I walked around the store...touched everything, TWICE, became best friends with the girl who worked there as we talked about increasing foot traffic for the cutest store in the world. I found a few things as my gaze kept glancing towards the car which holds my purse just through the huge window. I'll just try on a few things. How innocent is that? They were perfect and as I put my coat back on and I slipped my hand into my pocket, I found my bank card resting peacefully, almost shivering from lack of usage. I am the luckiest girl in the world!!! I have NO need for these cute, adorable clothes. It's too close to the holidays! What about that trip to Scotland coming up in December? Perhaps someone shouldn't have left for Thailand! I am so blaming him!

Field Trip

I recently accompanied my 10 year old on his class field trip into the wilderness, where they not only got an educational learning experience, but they also did some team building exercises. It was also a look at why I don't need more children. I stopped to take a few pictures to share with you. Enjoy.




































































T

Knock You Down

T

Go Girl!

You can have anything you want

if you want it desperately enough.

You must want it with an exhuberance that erupts through the skin and joins the energy

that created the world.

~Sheila Graham

I think that wherever your journey takes you,

there are new gods waiting there,

with divine patience... and laughter.

Wake up with a smile and go after life....

Live it, enjoy it, taste it, smell it, feel it.

~Joe Knapp

Life is a great big canvas;

throw all of the paint on it you can.

~Danny Kaye

Creativity is inventing,

experimenting, growing,
taking risks,
breaking rules,

making mistakes,

and having fun.

~Mary Lou Cook

You've never seen the Alhambra?

Or the walls of Toledo?

Or Venice? Ayers Rock?

Machu Picchu.

They are there,

waiting for you.

The places other

people have been.

Now it's your turn.

~Pam Brown

If I had to live my life over ~

I'd dare to make

more mistakes next time.

I'd relax. I would limber up.

I would be sillier than

I have been this trip.

I would take fewer things seriously.

I would take more chances.

I would take more trips.

I would climb more mountains

and swim more rivers.

When I'm old

I'm never going to say,

"I didn't do this" or "I regret that."

I'm going to say,

"I don't regret a damn thing.

I came, I went, and did it all."

~Kim Basinger

....There is no obstacle
that you cannot surmount,
no challenge that you cannot meet,
no fear that you cannot conquer,
no matter how impossible
it may sometime seem.

LOVE BRAVELY, LIVE BRAVELY,

BE COURAGEOUS.

THERE'S REALLY NOTHING TO LOSE.

THERE'S NO WRONG

YOU CAN'T MAKE RIGHT AGAIN.

~Jewel Kilcher

Go for it!

T

9/11 Remembered

This morning, as I drove Ethan to school, I was remembering where I was eight years ago when the attacks came. I was in the hospital. I had just given birth to Ethan the day before....not even 24 hours. My physician had come in to check on me and had said we were just attacked by terrorists as he turned on the t.v. In my state of semi-consciousness and sleep depravity I thought he said, "We were attacked by Paris." I sat up and as I rubbed my eyes, I saw the second plane hit the second tower. I sat bewildered wondering what I had just brought my new son into.

I can remember my parents discussing where they were when they learned that John F. Kennedy had been killed. These are moments seared in memory and transformative in the tragic pain of a nation. I suspect that is how my grandparents felt when they learned about Pearl Harbor.

It seems like just yesterday this tragedy occurred. I was just wondering how we should regard the tragedy of September 11, 2001 eight years later? Certainly we should be respectful of those whose grief was so great that is seems more like yesterday than eight years past. They deserve our prayers and tender thoughts. We also should remember those whose lives were cut short that day. Their deaths deprive us all of the promise of their lives. In addition, I think eight years is long enough to gain some perspective and to ask some of the tough questions we were not able to ask in the pain and shock of the moment. You know the questions; they have lingered at the edge of your consciousness for a long time. Maybe you even dared to ask them in the presence of people you trust enough to be vulnerable with. However, the tough questions have never been asked aloud in the public discourse of this nation. Now an atmosphere of partisanship has been created that will ensure that any politician who dares to engage the tough issues is certain to be painted as unpatriotic and un-American.

Eight years ago, the world rallied to our side. "Nous sommes tous Americans"—We are all Americans—read the headlines in French newspapers. Could different leadership have brought the world together to address the core issues that feed terrorist hatred or that create the conditions in which it flourishes? Would Muslim extremists find recruits or an audience if the world regarded Western nations as kind, benevolent and generous rather than as selfish, materialist consumers?

I guess the hardest question of all on this anniversary is this: Did we end up with the leaders we really deserve? I know that true transformation must begin within. Tragedies can be the motivator to change, or they can reinforce our defensiveness. Which one happens is always our toughest choice.

T

Eli Thompson 1973-2009

I know I am a little late in writing this... I have issues...death issues. I don't deal well. When I was struck with the news that a fellow classmate had passed away in a sky-diving accident, I went numb. My heart is still heavy writing this. A friend from high school has died. The news spread like wildfire amongst us and it was numbing. Eli Thompson has died. He died doing what he loved. He was a professional sky-diver and stunt & fly master. He was in Switzerland shooting some footage for a film. He somehow missed his jump from the helicopter to the side of the mountain and died on impact. As sad as it seems, perhaps there is NO OTHER way to go than doing what you love....




I went numb because Eli and I were in the same graduating class in high school. If you're like me, you still think that was a sweet 5 years ago. Well, sometimes, I act like it was 5 years ago. It's scary when people start passing around you that are the same young age. Death is for people my grandparents age...in my head.

Another reason for my numbness is Eli left a gorgeous wife who is expecting their son ANY day now and 2 beautiful, young girls. I couldn't fathom being put in this heart wrenching situation and feeling like I could go on without the love of my life.


Like I said earlier, I don't deal well with death. I found myself trying to find everything I could on Eli in the past 18 years since we all graduated and went on with our lives. It's sad that we all are reuniting so many years later through online facets. Some of you have lived close to each other and have remained in contact since the day we walked across that stage at COC. Others of us moved away and went to college. Our lives took us away from California. Perhaps we didn't look back as soon as we stepped over the state line, or we just didn't care about looking back. Whatever your story is, it's an important one and has molded you into the person you are today regardless of the circumstances.

What I do remember about Eli is that he had blond hair that was sometimes braided. It was about 5 inches long. He was my height and the boy never stopped smiling. I was new to Saugus my junior year of high school winter semester. I swear that boy acted like he knew me forever. He made me feel welcome no matter what others thought of the girl from Texas. Eli knew no social boundaries, he knew no strangers. His heart glowed and you could always see it on his face.

The world still mourns the passing of a beautiful man.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you that life is short, because we all know it. I am going to tell you to absolutely do what you love and to love with all your heart. Don't do anything half-heartedly, it may be your only opportunity to show the world who you truly are. Be a legacy...leave your mark on this world. Make sure it's a great one.


I can put away the pictures, I can put the dreams aside, but I can't seem to get you out of my mind.

T

To make a donation to his family:
http://web.mac.com/sarahfarooqui/web.mac.com_sarahfarooqui/Memorial_Eli.html

I thank my God every time I remember you. Phillipians 1:3

Make Time For You

"How often is peace a place within your mind and your world? Lean to maintain a peaceful state of mind at all costs. If you do not, it will cost you in the quality of how you experience life."– Ron Rathbun

Don't wait for time. Make it. Don't wait for love. Feel it. Don't wait for money. Earn it. Don't wait for the path. Find it. Don't wait for opportunity. Create it. Don't go for less. Get the best. Don't compare. Be unique. Don't fight your misfortune. Transform it. Don't avoid failure. Use it. Don't dwell on a mistake. Learn from it. Don't back down. Go around. Don't close your eyes. Open your mind. Don't run for life. Embrace it.

Be your best self. Believe it.

T

Simple Advice

Some of my favorite quotes come from a bear named, Pooh. Enjoy.

~"If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you"

~“If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever”

~“Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would I'd never leave.”

~"It's so much more friendly with two."

~"It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like 'What about lunch?'"

~"Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day."

~"Some people care too much, I think it's called love."

~"If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we’re apart.. i’ll always be with you."

T