Nothing Else Matters

This may seem like child abuse to a certain fraction of you, but I don't audit what my kids listen to. I never really let them listen to children's music ever since I could sing every damn song the Wiggles came out with and perform all of the dance moves to go with it. I think it was the day that I was singing one of their songs while I was in a store...BY MYSELF. I guess I should say I haven't ever introduced more to them because I was afraid it would induce seizures and/or homicidal behavior in their mom. I get enough of the repetitive, seep-into-your-brain-and-rot-it-from-the-inside-out tunes in the television shows they watch. HANNA MONTANA I'M LOOKING DIRECTLY AT YOU.
If I say the words SAY WHAT?!? I think I will trigger an unwelcome twitch in a certain percentage of you who have had to watch hour after hour of that kid running around with her hillbilly daddy and the overacted drama AND OH, HEY, I NEED THERAPY.
So they're growing up listening to my music, and that means they hear a lot of Pearl Jam, Foo Fighters, Relient K, and lately a lot of Drake. I recently made a CD of my favorite songs to play in the car: See November Playlist, but my oldest is always going NO NO NO, LET'S PLAY MY CD, MINE! What are you 2? And people, do you have any idea how many times we have had to listen to his CD? I don't even have to break out my superpower here, you know the one, where I tear off my button-up shirt to reveal a golden H on my chest that stands for HYPERBOLE! And I run around labeling things THE ABSOLUTE WORST or THE BEST THAT EVER WAS and when I have to wait on the phone for customer support for ten whole minutes I'm all THEY MADE ME WAIT SO LONG I DIED FROM DEHYDRATION.
That kid loves Heavy Metal, specifically Metallica and we listen to it all the time, every day. We're listening to it right now. It is his favorite, no other band compares, and he cannot stop his fingers from tapping on everything to its rhythm. And his head thrusting back and forth as if he truly was on stage. I know in some circles it is patently uncool to like Heavy Metal, and well, those certain circles can suck it. In fact I would have to say GIVE ME AN EFFING BREAK, and please go shave your ironic mustache. I grew up listening to Neil Sedaka, ABBA, and the Bee Gees, so I would say he's already ahead of me. My only wish is that I can at some point move on to another CD...like mine. I know, I know, it's about as likely as him looking up from his McDonald's for dinner and saying, "This again?"

Happy Birthday, Jake. Way to hit the big 11. Now go listen to your new Pearl Jam CD.

T