Wednesday, March 25, 2009

You've Got A Friend In Me

Originally posted August 3, 2008 8:58 AM

OK, Listen up, and LISTEN UP GOOD. I want to talk about something near and dear to my heart and that's my girls.... We all have friends, it's part of the essence of life. We all have GOOD know, the ones that pick you up from the airport at 3 in the morning when your plane is 3 hours past due, the ones that let you sleep on their couch because going home is not an option, the ones that take you to lesbian bars so you don't have to deal with guys hitting on you, who pick up the phone at all hours to just listen, the ones that do retail therapy with you, and the ones that sit by the fire listening to your "story" while they make their husband make you breakfast at 6:30 AM on a Saturday. These girls are near and dear to my heart. Like I said, we all have them...BUT are they REALLY friends? Let me explain.

I don't have a
MySpace, but I do have a Facebook. My girlfriends allowed me to navigate through their Myspace pages for research. I think it's funny that people actually have mega-stars, B-class and even C-class stars as their "Top Friends." Seriously people, what dream world do you live in? I guess everyone's idea of a "Top Friend" is different than mine. I also see that many people have anywhere between 300-8000 friends. WOW!!!! I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I had to keep up with that many people. Do people believe in cyberspace popularity?

Everyone needs a good friend. Even if it's just one. This friend will shoot it straight from the hip and not hold back. You can't get mad at this person because they are technically saving you from embarrassment, humiliation, social failure, perhaps even death....Have you ever asked someone, "Do I look fat in this outfit?" If they say yes, they're awesome! Why get angry? If you don't want to know, don't ask! They're just helping you out by letting you know that perhaps you need to change your clothes....or "to get on a scale and whatever the number reads subtract 25 from it." Friends don't let you buy bad clothes when you're shopping, let you wear your hair a certain way, or continue to date that loser. My close girls, (or "hookers" as my term of endearment for them) will always ask me, "Do you want to hear what you want to hear or what you need to hear." They'll tell me either/or depending on my emotional and mental state. In reality, I want them to alwa
ys tell me what I need to hear. I'm blunt and will tell you exactly how it is. I'm not a heartless bitch. I will always speak the truth in love. I will follow up bad news with something positive. It's how I am. As I'm writing this, my friend's son is sitting across the room on his laptop singing away when my ears start to bleed. I asked him to quiet down because I couldn't hear myself think. He says, "Some of my friends tell me I sing really well." I told him he needed new friends, but that he had good taste in music. I saved him from auditioning for American Idol and humiliation and saved myself from complete hearing loss. You're welcome.

What's that saying, "Hoes before bros?" Ummm, I don't think so. I don't know how many times I've told a girlfriend that it's OK that we break plans because an opportunity with a boy came up. Hello?? I'm not going to keep you from complete bliss! I can't fulfill that need for my girlfriends! So for all of you who are hurt when your girlfriend cancels plans with you for plans with a guy, don't take it personal, you're contributing to the success of her romantic tantric mantra. God Bless.

So let me wrap this up and bring it on home for you. When you and your crowd are sitting on the patio having dinner and drinks somewhere and you're sizing up everyone and commenting on their faults, make sure these girls will have the same guts to turn to you and to your face tell you the same. It's what matters most. It's those independent, strong, fearless girls that will weather every storm with you by your side. They're the ones that will be there for your 50th wedding anniversary making sure you look as radiant as the day you did when you went on your first date...the ones that said not to date the loser but you did anyway and it worked. Hey, I said to make sure you had friends that wouldn't be afraid to tell you like it is, I didn't say they were always right. ;)

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