Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Karma Truly Is A Bitch...And So Am I

Originally posted August 1, 2008 11:55 AM

…Or so I’ve been told.
I’ve experienced Karma first hand, and if you don’t believe in it like me, you may want to start…

Of course I have to input here that names have been changed to protect the innocent, but if they’re not really innocent do I have to? And who would really know if I didn’t change the names except for the players involved? Something to think about….I fell in love with this guy…I know, I know WTH???

We will all sometime in our life fall in love…or better yet, think we will. Hope perhaps? Well, I had the opportunity to actually experience this. I fell hard and fast. It was a whirlwind from the beginning. I was married, Chad was married and we eventually left our respective spouses for a chance to have a lifetime of total bliss. We completed each other. I thought I had found my soul mate. Every time Chad looked at me, my heart fluttered. His eyes lit up when I walked into the room and each time he kissed me, I got goose bumps. I remember as a little girl being told that you know you’re in love when the other person has all of these effects on you. I never thought it was possible because it had never happened in all of my 34 years of living, until Chad came along. The moment I laid eyes on Chad at the airport, my heart did a complete flip flop and it took everything I had to not jump into his arms right then and there. I can go on and tell you about the whole wild ride, and believe me I will divulge excerpts throughout this blog, so you’ll just have to keep reading…but for now, I will just say that what comes around goes around….Karma. Since I figured we had always claimed we had found “our last love” there would be no chance of anything else. Apparently “naïve” is written across my forehead even though I can’t see it when I look in the mirror. Chad and I recently ended our relationship…actually 2 weeks ago to be exact. He said I needed to get my life together which apparently is code for “this girl pinged me online and instead of telling her I had a girlfriend, I pinged back and a sexually provocative online chat ensued.” Yeah, so he ends it with me and immediately hooks up with Kelly on a business trip to San Francisco…. Nice. When I found out and confronted him, of course, he denied it. After much persistence on my part, he finally divulged that she was not the only one throughout our relationship. Even better. I was told that it was never when we were together, always when we were on a “break.”

Does anyone besides me hear Ross Gellar in the back of their heads?

Does it really matter if we were on a break? Our breaks were just a week here and there. Apparently long enough to go on a trip and screw a few girls. The funny thing about all of this is that the good ole Internet is exactly how Chad and I started communicating. MySpace to be exact. Then we began emailing, IM’ing, texting, than phone calls. 2 months later we were standing face to face at the airport I mentioned earlier. Let me back up a second here and tell you that we actually went to high school 17 years ago….Long story for a different blog post on a different day. I guess since I cheated on my husband, I deserved this. It came around and bit me back. The funny thing is I had lunch with my ex-husband, Doug, today. We’re still very good friends and have no problem discussing uncomfortable situations. Doug guessed all of the emotions I went through when I found out about the cheating almost to a tee. When my eyes filled up with tears, he just put his arm around me in that brotherly kind of way and told me that he was sorry and asked me if I wanted to have sex. I’M KIDDING!!!!! I’m just making sure you were still paying attention!!!! Seriously, he said time will heal and that it’s hard. I remember getting this same talk from my mom after my very first boyfriend dumped me for another cheerleader in the 7th grade, thanks Michael W. I need to focus… anyway, he offered his support with an added, “It wasn't too long ago I was in your shoes” and a wink. Smartass, but appreciated. A year and a half ago I put him right where I am standing now. Now I know what Chad’s wife went through and I feel awful. I have had to stop myself from picking up the phone to call and apologize to her. I should have known when he finally told me I wasn’t the first one he cheated on his wife with…I was just the one he fell in love with. As sadly as this sounds, and after all of the heartache over the past year and half, I wouldn’t have changed anything. No regrets. He has since moved on to greener pastures….Applications anyone?


1 comment:

  1. I can relate to ALL of this....so much to discuss with you...and I hope I get the chance to one day. .... Jim