Thursday, June 18, 2009

Brief Respite

I have been inundated with emails, phone calls, and text messages wondering why I am stepping away from Facebook. The outpouring of love has been a little overwhelming, but soothing to my heart at the same time. I am glad that most of you find humor in my sarcasm and wit. I say what comes to mind, I get ideas from others, listening to people talk around me and I get stuff from my co-workers that I think that my sarcasm has rubbed off know who I'm talking about...I'm looking at you, Winkler & Huck. :) Anyway, they say that people who behave like this are often "hiding" from something. For as long as I can remember I have had this type of personality. I'm the one to make a comment in the middle of an uncomfortable situation just to break that tension. Sometimes it backfires, sometimes it's dead on, and all of the other times people walk away going, "who the hell is that girl?" Again, I'm the girl not afraid to say anything despite what others think. It gets me into trouble because people don't see the comedic value, they take things too personal and therefore, need to bend over and yank whatever is so far up their ass out and just simply enjoy life. I am who I am, take me or leave me. I know what my friend count is and I know where each and everyone of you live, so if you unfriend me, sweet fucking relief! One less person to entertain! :)

I guess I do cover my own soul with the humor that I bestow on you. I do it to make you laugh, to make you forget the troubles you may face and just simply let go. I have my dark moments and today they were getting the better of me. I felt overwhelmed. I just felt like the walls were closing in too hard and too fast. Anxiety attack? Not so much, I don't think. Perhaps it's a lack of sleep, lack of sex, a lack of alcohol, or all of the above. I do know the pressure to be funny is really overwhelming at times and when I have to explain my status to my co-worker sitting next to me, it just doesn't feel right anymore...KIDDING!!! Although I DID have to explain this morning's update, which made it lose its luster for me.
Seriously, my plate is pretty full right now. I don't share the inner part of my life with too many people. That side of me would scare people and I like my friends. See also: boyfriend potential. Only a select group of friends truly know the deep side of my life and I am proud to say they are still my friends regardless of what I have been through or what I continue to endure. My walls are made of titanium and therefore, extremely hard to break. Perhaps this is why I do not have good luck with men (or women [I have too many lesbian friends to list here]). I simply do not trust. ANYONE. I am heading to court in 3 short weeks and spent the day prepping for that and making my travel arrangements. In the end, the "crap" that I endure got the best of me. I believe that I AM A STRONG WOMAN if you ever know what I have experienced in my short 30 years of life. If you don't believe me, I will kick your ass, or pull out a can of whoop ass, or simply open it and eat what's in the can. My sarcasm lifts my own superficial soul and pumps me up to deal with the boys in the office. The times I banter with each of you lifts my spirit more and more and I actually leave my worries behind until I get back in my car and see my gun sitting there... Just kidding. Sort of. I will return, because truly, I can't stay away from making some sort of smart ass remark. I want to thank you all for following me. I had no idea how many of you I made laugh...It just makes me think you need to get a fucking life, and then you take those Facebook quizzes and it makes me hate you even more. I told you I couldn't stay away....It's been a blast having you all along for the ride of my life. It's a long journey, thanks for sticking with me.



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