Apologies

So it's been awhile since I have posted. I apologize. I have started several drafts and just get side tracked. I have notes on different slips of paper where I began writing and walked away because something else caught my attention. ADD perhaps? I'd say a little. The month of May was quite busy for me. At some point I thought I was having a heart attack at work and turned to my coworker, Larry, to see if he would take me to the hospital. Without a moments hesitation, he was up and out of the office driving me to the ER. I hate going to the doctor much less the hospital. I just wanted a walk in clinic, but in Washington, those are no where to be found. Larry sat with me for 3 hours in the hospital. He saw me in the sexy hospital gown, saw me get my blood drawn and an IV put in, whisked away for X-rays and other random scans...He even fell asleep for a moment in his little chair. I offered to move over on the bed, but he declined. He's awesome and I'm thankful to know such good people. Since then, I have been told that my heart is fine. Healthy in fact. I have a musculoskeletal issue that creates pain right under the surface of the chest plate which feels like it is my heart. "Take 2 Advil and call me in the morning." Done.

Also since my last post I have been tested and possibly have Parkinson's Disease. I have seen specialists over the past 7 years for random things. No one seems to know what causes some of the issues that I have. I would normally divulge what some of these issues are, but believe me when I say that they are truly personal (and somewhat embarrassing) and only a handful of people know what they are. Over the past 2 years I started shaking. Sometimes it's violent and uncontrollable. I thought it was brought on by stress. I thought caffeine was a trigger. After changes in my life and in my diet, the shaking continues. Nothing I do seems to alter its surge. What I find the strangest about my shaking is that it is only my right arm. It makes the simple things such as writing or cutting vegetables extremely hard. I have learned to deal with it.
After explaining all of my problems to my new doctor so he has a clarity of what I have been experiencing, he ran some tests. My cardiologist noticed the way I was running during my stress test that I often shuffle my feet. It makes me trip. Imagine like tripping over the carpet as you walk...you know, when nothing is there??? Don't lie, we've all done it, except I do it continuously. He also noticed my problem finding words....the simple ones. It's frustrating more so than not. I have learned to deal, but it's made a lot of people frustrated with me. Does it suck? Hell yeah, it does. I have learned to take everything in stride. So, the next step is to see a neurologist and get a CAT scan of my brain to see if it's what I truly have. I'm hoping they're wrong. But whatever it is, I'm ready to keep trucking along with some minor adjustments along the way. Does it put a kink in my life plans, just a tad. It's still MY life and I'm going to continue on living it the best way that I know how. I'm hoping to find someone who will join me in this big adventure and make the most of it with me laughing and having a good time the whole way. I'm not dying. But just to let you in on a little secret...we all will one day. Make the most of your NOW. I am.

T