Apologies

OMG, FOREVER. It's been about that long since I have even looked at this blog much less thought about it. Oh, wait, there were a couple of instances where I thought, "I should write about this." Then the world kept turning and I've blinked a total of 287345820246 since then and have forgotten what that nonsense I was slightly interested in sharing with you was. I SUCK.
A girlfriend of mine actually admitted to me the other day that she reads my blog and it was SHE who brought it to my attention that I hadn't written in over a month and she needed something funny to read. I could have directed her to all of the blogs that I read, but most are not funny. Just 2 words away from making me want to slit my own wrists on some days. By the tone of her text, I could tell she need not be redirected to any of those.
She then went on to tell me it would me my fault if she died that night and had nothing NEW and FUNNY to read. I think this was right after she said she was driving her car into the next guardrail. BAD DAY?
The only thing I could tell her was to reread the blog from the beginning and do it at a different computer (try at the library) so that way it would maybe feel like it was brand new? I promised her I would write something funny for her funeral.