Eli Thompson 1973-2009

I know I am a little late in writing this... I have issues...death issues. I don't deal well. When I was struck with the news that a fellow classmate had passed away in a sky-diving accident, I went numb. My heart is still heavy writing this. A friend from high school has died. The news spread like wildfire amongst us and it was numbing. Eli Thompson has died. He died doing what he loved. He was a professional sky-diver and stunt & fly master. He was in Switzerland shooting some footage for a film. He somehow missed his jump from the helicopter to the side of the mountain and died on impact. As sad as it seems, perhaps there is NO OTHER way to go than doing what you love....




I went numb because Eli and I were in the same graduating class in high school. If you're like me, you still think that was a sweet 5 years ago. Well, sometimes, I act like it was 5 years ago. It's scary when people start passing around you that are the same young age. Death is for people my grandparents age...in my head.

Another reason for my numbness is Eli left a gorgeous wife who is expecting their son ANY day now and 2 beautiful, young girls. I couldn't fathom being put in this heart wrenching situation and feeling like I could go on without the love of my life.


Like I said earlier, I don't deal well with death. I found myself trying to find everything I could on Eli in the past 18 years since we all graduated and went on with our lives. It's sad that we all are reuniting so many years later through online facets. Some of you have lived close to each other and have remained in contact since the day we walked across that stage at COC. Others of us moved away and went to college. Our lives took us away from California. Perhaps we didn't look back as soon as we stepped over the state line, or we just didn't care about looking back. Whatever your story is, it's an important one and has molded you into the person you are today regardless of the circumstances.

What I do remember about Eli is that he had blond hair that was sometimes braided. It was about 5 inches long. He was my height and the boy never stopped smiling. I was new to Saugus my junior year of high school winter semester. I swear that boy acted like he knew me forever. He made me feel welcome no matter what others thought of the girl from Texas. Eli knew no social boundaries, he knew no strangers. His heart glowed and you could always see it on his face.

The world still mourns the passing of a beautiful man.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you that life is short, because we all know it. I am going to tell you to absolutely do what you love and to love with all your heart. Don't do anything half-heartedly, it may be your only opportunity to show the world who you truly are. Be a legacy...leave your mark on this world. Make sure it's a great one.


I can put away the pictures, I can put the dreams aside, but I can't seem to get you out of my mind.

T

To make a donation to his family:
http://web.mac.com/sarahfarooqui/web.mac.com_sarahfarooqui/Memorial_Eli.html

I thank my God every time I remember you. Phillipians 1:3

Make Time For You

"How often is peace a place within your mind and your world? Lean to maintain a peaceful state of mind at all costs. If you do not, it will cost you in the quality of how you experience life."– Ron Rathbun

Don't wait for time. Make it. Don't wait for love. Feel it. Don't wait for money. Earn it. Don't wait for the path. Find it. Don't wait for opportunity. Create it. Don't go for less. Get the best. Don't compare. Be unique. Don't fight your misfortune. Transform it. Don't avoid failure. Use it. Don't dwell on a mistake. Learn from it. Don't back down. Go around. Don't close your eyes. Open your mind. Don't run for life. Embrace it.

Be your best self. Believe it.

T

Simple Advice

Some of my favorite quotes come from a bear named, Pooh. Enjoy.

~"If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you"

~“If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever”

~“Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would I'd never leave.”

~"It's so much more friendly with two."

~"It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like 'What about lunch?'"

~"Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day."

~"Some people care too much, I think it's called love."

~"If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we’re apart.. i’ll always be with you."

T

Life's Cruelty

Who says life is fair all of the time? So many simple moments we take for granted and sometimes we are left standing feeling like we have been punched in the gut when you think that you are living, doing the best that you know how. Sometimes I feel the decisions I am making are for the best of the parties involved. I need to start listening to ME and stop trying to please EVERYBODY. Maybe only then all will be right in my world for once. It’s hard having kids. As a mother you strive to keep your kids safe, healthy and happy. We stress our bodies to the core wondering if our little ones are going to grow to hate us for the slightest indifference then what everyone else is doing. Sometimes I think I am going to go to hell for some of the choices I have made or some of the scenarios I have made my children endure. I can picture showing up in Hell, and when Satan see’s that it’s me he’s all, “no, no, no, not that woman, I am not about to spend eternity with someone so crass that they would casually talk about dog farts while I'm eating small children for breakfast. Send her back!” Hoo boy, it’s these types of scenarios we stress over at all hours of the day. Sometimes we find ourselves getting up in the middle of the night to watch them sleep. Maybe it’s only me and I’m simply just a weird mother. Perhaps it’s the fact that I don’t get to spend a lot of time with my kids because of a life of divorce and that I live 2000 miles from family because of decisions made a year ago to move to a different state. It’s hard when brothers are separated because of other circumstance I choose not to divulge here.
So my trip to Texas last week was a quick one. I was forced to go to Texas for a child custody battle, once again. It never seems to end, because someone in hell has it out for me and if he doesn’t watch out, I may take a quick trip there just to torture. And also because of an ex who just won’t LET. IT. GO. Perhaps my next post, I will update you on what events led to me being served, the prep for trial, the trial itself, and what has happened since….it’s quite fun, truly. NOT.
So, back to why I am writing now. I have just a few hours with my boys while I am here in Texas. I stand to the side as to not interfere with their time together. I watch and enjoy hearing the laughter over silly things. I step in only to break up arguments, fights, or when their rough housing becomes a little too rough. I have tried to teach my boys the art of independence and sometimes I kick myself for making them too independent because I miss them wanting to cuddle up on the couch and just be held by their mother. My boys know how emotional their mother is and often out of the corner of my eye when something happens, I will see that quick turn in their heads to see if I am crying. Even at the ages of 10 & 7, my boys KNOW their mom and look out after me.

You never know what a person has to endure on a day to day basis. Know that my humor is only masking the pain that I endure every day. The following description is what I went through my last moments before boarding a plane back to Washington….
As I am taking Jake back to his dad’s place, Jake grabs my hand and gives it 2 quick pumps. I give it back. He looks at me and winks and as I wink back the tears begin to flow.
He climbs out of the car and closes the door and immediately E stares straight ahead and says, “I miss my brother.” I tell him to jump out and give him another hug and assured him he would see him again soon.
At the airport Ethan and I play before I have to go through security. He walks with me through the line until the last possible second that he has to duck under the lines and go away with Paw Paw. He keeps his eye on me to see how long it takes before I break, but I manage to wait until he walks away holding onto Paw Paw’s hand to lose it. He turns to look back at me; he breaks free from my dad’s grip and runs back for one last hug. “I’m going to miss you,” he says. “I love you E-Rod,” I reply. He giggles and says, “Moooom, it’s A-Rod” and spells the letters in the air with his finger. He has tears beginning to form as my dad walks up to get him. My dad asks E if he wants to get a Cinnamon roll from Cinnebon. Ethan’s sadness suddenly disappears as he bounds off towards the direction of the confectionery goodness. I mouth the words “thank you” to my dad as he winks at me.
The fact that a donut can take away the sadness only proves that the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. Perhaps it truly does make everything right in the world, and I think everything just might be OK.

T

Fallen

~The smartest thing I ever did was take a chance with you.

~You've got to understand that it took me a lot of courage to make myself come to the realization that everything that I've ever wanted & needed is found within you. And for me to put everything aside again, everything that you once broke, is a remarkable task that took a lot of strength & faith in me. They say sometimes people put walls up, not because they want to block people out, but because they want to see who cares enough to knock them down. You know me like no one else does because I never was able to let anyone in, & you don't even know how glad & thankful I am that I gave you the chance. You stayed at our best, yet you stuck at it at our worse, & proved to me what truth in love still has. The sky is the limit & true love really is forever.

~You don't know, do you, that in a crowded room, my eyes will always search for you.

~When you look in her eyes and she's looking back in yours .. everything feels .. not quite normal. Because you feel stronger & weaker at the same time. You feel excited & at the same time, terrified. The truth is .. you don't know what you feel except you know what kind of man you want to be. It's as if you've reached the unreachable & you weren't ready for it.

~When you truly care for someone, you don't look for faults. You don't look for answers. You don't look for mistakes. Instead, you fight the mistakes. You accept the faults & you overlook excuses. The measure of love is when you love without measure. There are rare chances that you'll meet the person you love & who loves you in return. So once you have it, don't ever let go. The chance might never come your way again.

~True love cannot be defined by any means. It is a cluster of adjectives. It's crazy, passionate, complicated, painful , but most importantly- true love is real. It's that feeling of being inexplicably drawn to another person. Love isn't finding someone who you can escape reality with, it's finding someone who makes reality worthwhile.

~When I hear you laugh. When your eyes sparkle. When we don't have to talk. When you remember. When I don't have to explain. When you walk into the room. When I'm by myself. When you're just being you. When you make me laugh. When I hear your heart beat. Even when you're not looking. ...That's when I love you.

~You fell in love with someone because of the tilt of his smile, or because he could make you laugh, or in this case, because he made you believe you were the only one who could save him.

~The difference between physical attraction and love is the ability to see the same person at their best and at their worst and still desire them without one false step.

~Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.

~I want to be the one - I want to be the person that touches your heart and makes it skip a beat - I want to be that person whose arms make you just melt - I want to be the person that your destined to be with.

~i have to catch my breath when i see your face, hear your name or even think of you. because you are exactly what i've been waiting for my whole life. if this is a dream, i never want to wake up. i've fallen for you.

What I'm Thinking

"Remember, happiness doesn't depend on who you are or what you have; it depends solely on what you think."
Dale Carnegie

Words To Live By

"Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Continue to learn. Appreciate your friends. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is." ~Mary Anne Roadacher-Hershey

10 Years

Written to me....


You caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. The snow fell around me continuing to cover the white streets as I walked deep in thought. Everything was moving around me as I walked, but I had to double take in your direction because you were the only thing in my immediate world that wasn't moving. I looked up just in time to see you crack a smile. Your eyes lit up like you'd just seen a deer in the middle of the urban streets. Why were you just standing there? I slowed my pace and looked back to the ground to recompose attention to the matter at hand, but I couldn't refocus knowing you were standing there watching me. I looked again and there you were - gloved hands with fingers interlaced; brown hair wet from the snow under a woven, red beanie. Anyone in your situation would be freezing, but oddly you looked warm; comfortable. I stopped. Staring at the ground, I slowly turned my head in your direction. As my head turned, my eyes cheated glimpses of you out the corner of my eye. I could see your smile growing with every click of my neck towards you. Those eyes burned with playfulness and flirtation. I'd seen you before; like, a ghost. It couldn't be...but it was. 10 years had passed since I'd fallen in love with you. 10 lonely years of women who never lived up to the expectations you set. My look of curiosity turned into one of disdain. You'd promised me the world and shown me glimpses of it, but never made good on your promises to follow through. I cautiously walked up to you as the snowfall around us slowed to a drizzle. "I never thought I'd see you again," I said coarsely. "I always knew I'd see you again," you said ruefully. You stood there with snow on your shoulders and head, looking beautiful as always but I discounted that. "Why are you here?" I asked. "Does it matter?" you retorted playfully. Your smile had changed to mild concern, but a grin was creeping across your face as if you knew something I didn't. "What are you grinning about?" I asked with a slight chuckle. You showed your teeth with a huge smile and followed, "I know something." "What?" You were always one for the dramatic, so your eyes looked out into the distance over my shoulder, then slowly down my head, through my eyes, down to the ground and finally to your soaked shoes. Your head rose slowly and your eyelids opened like they were rusted - those telling eyes opening, staring deep into mine. Right then, I knew what you were going to say. You didn't even have to say it. And, you were right....I was still in with love you. "Don't," I held firmly. Your lower lip curled and you bit it with your upper teeth. You were nervously scrambling with those eyes trying to read why I stopped you. This was your moment. You'd finally come back to me. You'd finally finished your business and came to be by my side. After all this time and effort was I really going to send you home? I watched your mind race as you tried to comprehend your plan going so sideways. "I'm going to stay no matter what. You can't make me leave." Your insecurities from 10 years prior that kept you from me were suddenly infecting you with questions about your ability to stay in a city with the man you love and not be able to be with him. I took a step back away from you. You knew I had broken free from your spell and fear was gripping you. Your plan was falling apart. You'd waited so long and travelled so far and planned so acutely. He's a romantic! How is he not completely enraptured by all of this? You questioned yourself, teary-eyed. "Yes, I'm still in love with you; but, my life is not what it once was. I'm not who I used to be," I proclaimed sternly. You backed down. You let me get the best of you. The silence was mortifying. 10 years of wanting, needing, and hoping were being thrown out like yesterdays trash. 10 years of devoting your heart to me was being ripped from your chest; faith stolen from your soul. The snow stopped. The streets were quiet, painted white - no place for cars to drive. I tilted my head to one side to see your puzzled face starting to give up. Tears were forming in the corners of your eyes. "I just couldn't wait any longer," I told you peacefully. "All I wanted was to be loved by someone who loves me. This is what I used to tell you. I guess I should've added that I needed that person to be here by my side every night and not 2000 miles away. It's incredible that you're here and you look amazing, but I can't allow myself to love you." You looked away in disbelief that I couldn't wait for you. It was only 10 years! What's 10 years in the scope of a lifetime? It took 34 years to connect originally and now I was going to let 10 years deny us eternal love? You gathered your emotions. You summoned your strength and mustered the courage to look me dead in the eye...."No." Your lips were pursed tightly and you began to shake. We hadn't noticed the snow beginning to fall again. "You LOVE me," you said vehemently. "You can't stop that. You can't control that." You spoke in a slow shaking voice ensuring I understood every word coming out of your mouth. "You are not going to fight me on this. This is not a negotiation. You will spend the rest of your life with me because you love me, we are perfect for each other, we need each other and I'll be damned if I'm going to allow you to keep me away from you - the man of my dreams; my knight in shining armor; my prince." That warm comfortable look evaporated and all the heat you felt watching me walk past you had changed to cold. You shivered as your voice fluctuated. The snow fell harder. I looked at you with a slight grin, my eyes shooting fire into yours. Time crawled as seconds turned into days. I had so much to say, but was at a loss for words. "I love you. I've never stopped. I never will," you said. "I know," I replied. I reached my hands into my pockets buying time to muster the words, "Go home." Your facial expression made it clear you were determined to stay, but my words were like knives slashing the emotions across your face. "Okay, but before I go, tell me something. What were you in such deep thought about when you first saw me tonight?" I looked away from you scrambling for an answer other than the truth. You turned your head slightly, looking at me out the corner of your eye. I stalled by drawing lines in the snow with my shoes. The snow was reaming down fast refilling the divots I was making. I didn't want to tell you my thoughts. I didn't want you to know. You grabbed my arm in a last ditch effort to know the truth. "Tell me. I just want to know what it is that runs through your head that still keeps you up at night. You always had something, but 10 years have passed so I just want to know what in the world you still think about so intently." I looked at your gloved hand locked on my arm. My eyelids angled down, opened up to see you. "Tell me," you whispered. The snow pounded around us. Inches were piling around us. You locked in on me, waiting anxiously to here who had stolen my heart or who had broken my heart or....your insecurities streamed countless ideas through your head when finally the words you least expected to hear at that moment fell from my mouth like an anvil...."You always seem to know when I'm thinking of you...and, there you were." The blood ran back into your face. Your soul, dumbfounded, screamed joyously as it viewed heaven once again. You saw me grimace conceding to love; giving in to the powerful force that never let me stop loving you. You stepped closer to me, staring into my eyes. That huge smile crossed my face fully acknowledging that you were right. You smiled and I stooped down to kiss you. Our lips embraced like we'd been apart not 10 years, but 10 minutes. We'd picked up right where we left off without skipping a beat. Your lips separated from mine and I watched your eyes fill with passion and love. That wild look of unrelenting love was splashed across your face. My spirit lifted with a joy I'd not felt in a decade. Your lips parted to release, "I always knew you were my first and only true love." My eyes dove deep into your soul and replied, "And, I always knew you were my last."





T

Forever Love

I have had a few friends reach out to me over the past few months asking some questions about my marriage and relating it to their own. I have been telling them that I would write about it to sit back and be patient. It’s been a couple of months for some, weeks for others, and merely days with one. It’s not that I have been too busy, although I truly am non-stop these days. Perhaps part of it is reliving the past that I have trouble doing. Finding the right words is another reason. Most of all, I don’t want someone relying on ME for advice as to whether they should stay in their marriage or not. I will go ahead and spew forth a few perils of wisdom, okay; advice is really the key word I should use.

I married a great man in 2001. He was perfect from the get go with Jake who was 2 at the time. He moved from NY to TX to start our family. We were the best of friends from day one. According to our friends, we were the perfect couple. What people see on the outside is not obviously the same behind closed doors. When we decided to divorce in 2007, we remained best friends. We looked at all of the options before splitting; in the end we went our separate ways. When I had to find a new place to live, he actually went with me. He reassured me that he could help fix things in some of the houses we looked at. It even went as far as possibly living across the street from each other at homes that were both for sale. In the end, he thought it was a bad idea for us. It shocked all of our friends and our families. Out of everyone, they never thought it would be he and I to divorce.

We were perfect. We just weren’t happy. Now you can ask, is anyone happy? Or what truly is happy? These questions are different for each individual and not as a couple. We lived like roommates. We never stopped loving the kids. We never stopped loving each other. As much as we tried counseling, date nights, church, sex, none of it helped. We didn’t want to prevent the other one from truly finding that one person that is your soul mate...because of my unhappiness and longing for my needs to be taken care of I had an affair. There, I said it. I know you wanted to ask. It was rough. The guilt ate at me. The day Doug found out, I fell apart. We cried, we yelled, we were silent, but at the end of the day we took the kids to see Spiderman 3. What??? Who does that? An extraordinary man does. You ask then why did I let him go? Who would want me after that? Even if he did, my “needs” weren’t being met and I know I wasn’t meeting his. We discussed our options to try to work it out as a couple, or just for the kids, or for financial reasons, or out of fear of being alone. None of these are good options, but were entertained for some sake I cannot recall at this time. The days thereafter I’m not going to tell you were easy. I can probably tell you they were crazy more than anything. In the end the attorney commented on our case being the “easiest she has ever seen.” We had split everything and moved into separate homes by the time we filed papers. Doug showed up on the day our divorce went before a judge to be finalized. He didn’t have to be there, but showed up for moral support. At the end we walked to our cars. We stood outside of his car and I said, “Thanks for being here. I’m sorry for everything I put you through.” The floodgates opened and I sobbed. He grabbed me and hugged me tight. He said, “It’s just a piece of paper. It’s OK. We’re OK. We’re still friends. I love you.” I told him that I loved him as I hugged back. I slowly walked to my car and drove away.

Since then we have had good times and bad times as all friends do. We just took the boys to the movies last night to see “Night at the museum 2.” He’s the first person I call in the middle of the day when I’m having a bad day and want to vent.

If you’re asking why we don’t try to get back together or if I miss him….it depends on the day or even the time of day. In the end, I know nothing would change and we would end up right back where we started. The heart can endure so much pain.

I tell you this information for reference and guidance only. Sometimes you feel like no one is going through what you’re going through. You think no one will understand. You probably find yourself at a loss and then you start to question and doubt yourself. You begin to lose yourself worth. You begin to make excuses. I told you the above information to let you know that you are not alone.

Here’s what I have to say about it. You can stop reading if you think I have rambled on long enough. I never asked you to read this anyway. If you want to judge me, fine. You won’t be the same. I will tell you that you have not walked a single inch in my shoes. You have not endured the pain that I have had to endure, or the torment that I have experienced. This is just a small slice of the story. I’m human. We all make mistakes. We all have skeletons. You are no better than the person standing next to you. You can judge me, but I know that you only suffer from your own insecurities and this just makes you feel bigger and better than me. I digress. Whatever the reason is in your current relationship, take a step outside of the relationship and look in. Disengage for a quick second. You married the person standing in front of you for a reason. What was that reason? Write it down. Take a trip down memory lane. I find that most of my married friends disengage a few years after they marry. The person standing before your eyes is still the same person. Marriage shouldn’t change anything. I know that some people truly change and you may have probable cause at that time. Whatever the reason may be, don’t just walk away because you think the grass is greener on the other side. It’s greener til the flood comes, then it’s just a mess. Look, all I can say is give it your best shot. Not just the old college try, because some of you strived for that 70 average just to continue on. Truly fight for what you want. Give it your all. If it still doesn’t work out in the end, you can at least say you tried. You’re not a failure. A failure is someone who gives up without putting in a single drop of sweat. Success is the result of blood, sweat, and tears regardless of the outcome. Now go work your magic.

Give love a chance.

T

Lunch

ON our way to Daniel’s with our coworkers Larry and I had the following conversation:

Me: OK Larry, What’s our safe word going to be?
Larry: Safe Word? I didn’t know it was THAT kind of lunch.
Me: It’s not, well, you never know. I was looking for a safe word to get us out of there if we need to.
Larry: Do you think it’s going to be that bad? Let’s not use something obvious.
Me: So Fuck you, mother fucker is out?
Larry: I think you should have 3 expletives together.
Me: How about Fuckity Fuck Fuck?
Larry: Is Fuckity a real word or one of your Texas concoctions?
Me: Shut up, Larry, it works.
Larry: I can’t wait for you to use it.

This is how we do it from day to day. You have to make the most of what you got. This lunch went unhitched and actually it was kind of boring. I should have pretended I had Tourette's and used 3 expletives...next time.

T

Make It Count

I have said this before, but almost everyday I am constantly reminded of it.

"Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor, coworker, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger), *but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.* And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles, you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart."

I have been asked, "Why didn't I meet you sooner?" I always smile. I want to just say, "The timing wasn't right. Had I come into your life sooner, it still wouldn't have mattered and most likely my heart would have gone unnoticed." A little cheesy I am sure most of you would think. If you just take a moment and look back on your life and the people who have come in and out of it, know that timing had everything to do with it. There is a reason, don't fight it, just embrace it. All I can say when you meet someone special in your life, MAKE EVERY MOMENT COUNT. It will be worth it. I promise.

T

Start Now

Regardless of our present or past circumstances, the important thing is ... everything that is happening or has happened is for a reason. In reality, there are no victims. We each have a different sad story to tell. But the common thread that runs thru them all, is that we have at some point lost our power, or it has been taken away from us, or we have just plain given it away.

What can YOU do today to start empowering yourself?
Now, regardless of your present or past circumstances, at any time you choose, you can take a bold step and awaken the Empowered person that already exists within you.

Wisdom:

*Every time we rely on someone or something outside of us to provide us with love, success or happiness, we hand our power over. As soon as they don’t provide it we are defeated.

Ironically, when we decide to be love, success and happiness, we easily attract the people, events and objects that enhance this state.


As you continue to decide what matters most, be honest with yourself.
Stop ignoring the urge to get on with the work you know you should do or to finally redefine relationship: That whisper you keep hearing is the universe trying to get your attention. Make it your intention to pursue only what is honorable, what is good, and what is true and the results will be a life grander than you could every have imagined. When you're true to who you are and what your spirit is telling you to do, that truth will indeed set you free.

You have always been deciding the truth of your life. It is how you decide to feel about it.

There is no need to try to work out what something means.
The descision is yours.

Getting Away With It

It's a little-known fact that Good Girls are only good because they know how to get away with being bad. They have their shiny halo's on display for the whole world to see and they walk down the street in their diamond slippers never stepping on a crack in the pavement.
No one is watching when a Good Girl skips down a side alley and mugs a baby for candy. How do they get away with it? Here's the secret.


Deny Everything


I'm starting with the last resort, because when it comes down to it this is the Good Girl's most powerful weapon against everyone else. It's their word against yours.
A Good Girl simply flat-out refuses to admit they were in any way, shape or form involved in any evil deeds.
“Of course I didn't do it, I would never do something like that!” is a perfectly plausible alibi for a Good Girl, who is always presumed innocent even when proven guilty.
A Good Girl could get caught with her hand in the cookie jar and a simple “Freddy tricked me” will suffice, while poor Freddy cops the blame.


Admit to Small Faults


In direct contradiction to the “deny everything” technique comes this little crafty piece of sly fault avoidance from the Good Girl's rule book.
A Good Girl bashfully admits to small, human errors … like barely audible burps after a delicious meal, usually orchestrated with a polite hand-over-the-mouth action and a timid “excuse me” which everyone finds delightfully adorable.
Other minor mishaps can be admitted to, such as the proverbial spilt milk, as long as the Good Girl makes a grand gesture of fixing her little mistakes. No one can fault a person for such an unfortunate accident.
Cute forgetfulness admitted before any damage is done is another strong winning point for the Good Girl, who can quite easily say “I forgot to tell you, your mother called yesterday. Which reminds me, it's her birthday in a week so I bought you this card to send her. Aren't the kittens on the cover adorable?”


Be Confident


A Good Girl knows ahead of time that she'll get away with it, so she takes on every evil deed with absolute confidence.
She can walk into a bank and hold up the cashier, with her immaculately groomed hair, manicured hands and a big smile on her face. Her mannerisms scream “I'm not doing anything wrong, I'm supposed to be here” and not a single person will question her authority.
After robbing the bank, the Good Girl can go shopping at the Tiffany store next door, confident in the knowledge that no one bothered to call the police.
And even if the police came, she would deny everything.


Cover Your Tracks


Most Good Girl crimes are quite petty, like stealing her sister's clothing and “borrowing” her mother's BMW without asking. The important thing is that she knows how to cover her crime.
When she enters her sister's room she doesn't turn on the light but waits for her eyes to adjust to the darkness, you just never know when your sister will be driving past the house and see a light on in her bedroom, that's a dead giveaway that something is amiss.
The Good Girl then steps over any litter on the floor, making sure she displaces nothing. She opens the cupboard slowly and quietly, and scans the rack of clothes with her eyes only. When she spies the little black dress she came looking for, she slips the hanger off the rack and moves the neighbouring clothes to close the gap.
When she leaves the room, she doesn't have to worry about turning off the light.
The same for the BMW. If the tank is a ¼ full of petrol when she gets in, it will be a ¼ full of petrol when she gets out. If something happens while she's driving home drunk and the car ends up scratched or damaged, it's time to deny everything.


Keep Your Story Simple


Remember that line from one of those Shakespeare plays, something about protesting too much (no, I clearly don't remember it either). The point is, the more you complicate your story, the more suspicious you sound.
Also, complicated stories contain details and a Good Girl is too busy being a master criminal to waste time remembering the fine points of her cover story.
If someone asks her “Where were you at 4 o'clock?” her simple answer contains no traceable lies “I was in my bedroom studying Geography.” That sounds just like where a Good Girl would have been when the bank was robbed.
“Where did you get that Tiffany necklace?” is answered with “Oh that? I bought it at the markets 5 months ago.”
Notice how the Good Girl does not bring anyone else into her story, because that would require their back up, which leads me to the next important technique.


Trust No One


There's nobody better at getting away with it than a Good Girl working alone. She can't rely on friends as plausible alibis. Her friends may not be as good as she is, and therefore they won't be as believable. Also, they aren't as confident as the Good Girl, so they'll probably cave under pressure.


There is another important lesson in this:


Don't Brag


One sad fact for the Good Girl is that she has to keep her secret identity under wraps at all times. If it got out that she was really Cat Woman, she'd have the Mayor and Batman to contend with, and no one wants that!
Since no one can be trusted, no one can ever know about her dastardly deeds … unless she has a memory eraser gun and isn't afraid to use it.
BUT since this isn't a comic book we're talking about, just stick to the fact that bragging about getting away with it can't be done.


Last But Not Least, Know Your Limitations


If you are small and weak, then stealing an ATM might not be your thing. You might want to stick to mugging babies for candy.
Even the best Good Girl in all the world, with all her tricks of the trade up her sleeve, will come crashing down from her pearly white cloud if she exceeds her limits.


And that's all there is to it.


Now fly my pretties, fly!

T

David William Hickman 01/03/1949-06/12/2009

I have a great friend that has recently come back into my life. He seems to always reach out at unexpected moments to make sure that all is right with me. He never ceases to make me smile through a simple email, text message, or comment left on Facebook. He had been eerily quiet for a week or so and I knew something was wrong. Sunday, Jeff let us all know that his father had passed on Friday. I cannot express the grief that Jeff must be enduring. For a guy of Jeff's size and stature, the emotion has rendered him to non-existence. I personally, do not deal with death at all. I have tried on more than one occasion to make sense and grasp at it, but it is still overwhelming. My heart aches for you, Jeff. Know that you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you. Your extended family loves and misses you. Take as much time as you need, the door is open for your return.

David William Hickman 01/03/1949-06/12/2009

Thinking of you.

T

Movie Greatness

My beautiful friend, Dawn, put out a request. She asked "Tell me a line from a movie you believe could change the world." I saw it last night for the first time, and it made me start thinking about some of my favorite movies and quotes from them. I just wanted to share a few with you....perhaps, if anything, it will bring back memories....Good times.

If you can't laugh at yourself, life's gonna seem a whole lot longer than you'd like. What do ya do? You laugh, you know, I'm not saying I don't cry... but in between... I laugh -Garden State

it's not about what happened in the past or what you think might happen in the future. its about the ride for Christ's sake. there's no point going through all this crap if your not going to enjoy the ride. and you know what, when you least expect it something great might come along something better than you even planned for. - Along Came Polly

You know that place between sleep and awake, where you're still dreaming? that's where i'll always think of you. that's where i'll be waiting -Hook

I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. -When Harry Met Sally

There Are Millions Of People In This world, But In The end It All Comes Down To One -Crazy/Beautiful

don't say we aren't right for each other, the way i see it is.. we aren't right for anyone else --the cutting edge

Sometimes I wish I had never met you. Because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there. -Good Will Hunting

I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floatin' around accidental-like on a breeze. But I, I think maybe it's both. -Forrest Gump

What is it in us that seeks the truth? Is it our minds or is it our hearts? -A Time to Kill

It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything. -Fight Club

The truth is, I gave my heart away a long time ago, all of it, and I never really got it back. -Sweet Home Alabama

That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call them something else -Sixteen Candles

because that's what people do... they leap and hope to God they can fly cause otherwise, we just drop like a rock... wondering the whole way down why in the hell did i jump? but here i am.. falling, there's only one person that makes me feel like i can fly. its you. --Hitch

But lately I've been seeing it differently. Now I think moral fiber's about finding that one thing you really care about. That one special thing that means more to you than anything else in the world. And when you find her, you fight for her. You risk it all, you put her in front of everything, your life, all of it. And maybe the stuff you do to help her isn't so clean. You know what? It doesn't matter. Because in your heart you know, that the juice is worth the squeeze -The Girl Next Door

The trick in life isn't getting what you want, it's wanting it after you get it -Love Affair

Screws just fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place . -The Breakfast Club

T

Brief Respite

I have been inundated with emails, phone calls, and text messages wondering why I am stepping away from Facebook. The outpouring of love has been a little overwhelming, but soothing to my heart at the same time. I am glad that most of you find humor in my sarcasm and wit. I say what comes to mind, I get ideas from others, listening to people talk around me and I get stuff from my co-workers that I think that my sarcasm has rubbed off on...you know who I'm talking about...I'm looking at you, Winkler & Huck. :) Anyway, they say that people who behave like this are often "hiding" from something. For as long as I can remember I have had this type of personality. I'm the one to make a comment in the middle of an uncomfortable situation just to break that tension. Sometimes it backfires, sometimes it's dead on, and all of the other times people walk away going, "who the hell is that girl?" Again, I'm the girl not afraid to say anything despite what others think. It gets me into trouble because people don't see the comedic value, they take things too personal and therefore, need to bend over and yank whatever is so far up their ass out and just simply enjoy life. I am who I am, take me or leave me. I know what my friend count is and I know where each and everyone of you live, so if you unfriend me, sweet fucking relief! One less person to entertain! :)

I guess I do cover my own soul with the humor that I bestow on you. I do it to make you laugh, to make you forget the troubles you may face and just simply let go. I have my dark moments and today they were getting the better of me. I felt overwhelmed. I just felt like the walls were closing in too hard and too fast. Anxiety attack? Not so much, I don't think. Perhaps it's a lack of sleep, lack of sex, a lack of alcohol, or all of the above. I do know the pressure to be funny is really overwhelming at times and when I have to explain my status to my co-worker sitting next to me, it just doesn't feel right anymore...KIDDING!!! Although I DID have to explain this morning's update, which made it lose its luster for me.
Seriously, my plate is pretty full right now. I don't share the inner part of my life with too many people. That side of me would scare people and I like my friends. See also: boyfriend potential. Only a select group of friends truly know the deep side of my life and I am proud to say they are still my friends regardless of what I have been through or what I continue to endure. My walls are made of titanium and therefore, extremely hard to break. Perhaps this is why I do not have good luck with men (or women [I have too many lesbian friends to list here]). I simply do not trust. ANYONE. I am heading to court in 3 short weeks and spent the day prepping for that and making my travel arrangements. In the end, the "crap" that I endure got the best of me. I believe that I AM A STRONG WOMAN if you ever know what I have experienced in my short 30 years of life. If you don't believe me, I will kick your ass, or pull out a can of whoop ass, or simply open it and eat what's in the can. My sarcasm lifts my own superficial soul and pumps me up to deal with the boys in the office. The times I banter with each of you lifts my spirit more and more and I actually leave my worries behind until I get back in my car and see my gun sitting there... Just kidding. Sort of. I will return, because truly, I can't stay away from making some sort of smart ass remark. I want to thank you all for following me. I had no idea how many of you I made laugh...It just makes me think you need to get a fucking life, and then you take those Facebook quizzes and it makes me hate you even more. I told you I couldn't stay away....It's been a blast having you all along for the ride of my life. It's a long journey, thanks for sticking with me.

*HUGS*

T

Apologies

So it's been awhile since I have posted. I apologize. I have started several drafts and just get side tracked. I have notes on different slips of paper where I began writing and walked away because something else caught my attention. ADD perhaps? I'd say a little. The month of May was quite busy for me. At some point I thought I was having a heart attack at work and turned to my coworker, Larry, to see if he would take me to the hospital. Without a moments hesitation, he was up and out of the office driving me to the ER. I hate going to the doctor much less the hospital. I just wanted a walk in clinic, but in Washington, those are no where to be found. Larry sat with me for 3 hours in the hospital. He saw me in the sexy hospital gown, saw me get my blood drawn and an IV put in, whisked away for X-rays and other random scans...He even fell asleep for a moment in his little chair. I offered to move over on the bed, but he declined. He's awesome and I'm thankful to know such good people. Since then, I have been told that my heart is fine. Healthy in fact. I have a musculoskeletal issue that creates pain right under the surface of the chest plate which feels like it is my heart. "Take 2 Advil and call me in the morning." Done.

Also since my last post I have been tested and possibly have Parkinson's Disease. I have seen specialists over the past 7 years for random things. No one seems to know what causes some of the issues that I have. I would normally divulge what some of these issues are, but believe me when I say that they are truly personal (and somewhat embarrassing) and only a handful of people know what they are. Over the past 2 years I started shaking. Sometimes it's violent and uncontrollable. I thought it was brought on by stress. I thought caffeine was a trigger. After changes in my life and in my diet, the shaking continues. Nothing I do seems to alter its surge. What I find the strangest about my shaking is that it is only my right arm. It makes the simple things such as writing or cutting vegetables extremely hard. I have learned to deal with it.
After explaining all of my problems to my new doctor so he has a clarity of what I have been experiencing, he ran some tests. My cardiologist noticed the way I was running during my stress test that I often shuffle my feet. It makes me trip. Imagine like tripping over the carpet as you walk...you know, when nothing is there??? Don't lie, we've all done it, except I do it continuously. He also noticed my problem finding words....the simple ones. It's frustrating more so than not. I have learned to deal, but it's made a lot of people frustrated with me. Does it suck? Hell yeah, it does. I have learned to take everything in stride. So, the next step is to see a neurologist and get a CAT scan of my brain to see if it's what I truly have. I'm hoping they're wrong. But whatever it is, I'm ready to keep trucking along with some minor adjustments along the way. Does it put a kink in my life plans, just a tad. It's still MY life and I'm going to continue on living it the best way that I know how. I'm hoping to find someone who will join me in this big adventure and make the most of it with me laughing and having a good time the whole way. I'm not dying. But just to let you in on a little secret...we all will one day. Make the most of your NOW. I am.

T

Fall Back Into Me

I really like this song and David Cook is just a hottie and easy on the eyes. Make sure you watch the slide show as you listen to this fantastic song. Enjoy!


T

Just To See You Smile

Sitting at Sonic tonight enjoying the weather, dinner, and great company with Susan, this song came on and it felt so good to be home in the great state of Texas. DS requested this of me several times last week and BH has requested this several times this week. I just want to share this with you. Enjoy!

T

Be My Escape

Will you?
T

Quotes of the Day

~The true test of character is how we behave when we dont know what to do. -john holt

~Have patience, God isnt finished yet.

~Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp. -nathaniel hawthorne.

~If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are gone, either write things worth reading or do things worth writing. -benjamin franklin

~If you scatter thorns, don't go barefoot. - Italian Proverb

~Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you. -Emerson'

~We don't know who we are until we see what we can do. - Martha Grimes

~Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do. - Bejamin Spock

~Expect troubles as an inevitable part of your life, and repeat to yourself the most comforting words of all... "this too shall pass."

The Night I Died

It hurts to breathe...I can't breathe!...it's hot, I'm sweating...it hurts so bad...I can't breathe....someone help!!!...PLEASE!!!! someone help me...where is everybody...I can't breathe...I think i am going to die...i think I'm going to throw up...mom, help me...I can't breathe...it hurts....then it all went dark.
Hey, I thought there was suppose to be a light that you see when you die. Where is it? Oh my gosh...did I go to Hell? Think, Terri, think...you're barely 16, what in the hell have you done in your 16 short years to end up in hell? Was it all those times I thought bad thoughts about my parents when I got into trouble? Was it the times I was mean to my brother? He's older and deserved it..he started it anyway. Why am I not hovering over my body? Is that all just a sham? Do people talk about their near death experience to make us feel better about the ones we have lost? Obviously they make it all up... Where is the angel of death? I died people...I stopped breathing..everything went black...does no one care about my death? Maybe everyone is busy...OK I will wait... I can't believe I died...It was awful...I couldn't breathe. I fought..I fought hard. I realized the more I struggled the harder it was to breathe, the pain sank in more...I'm a quitter...I always thought myself to be a fighter...I'm not, obviously..I gave up, I quit fighting and I stopped breathing. I felt an uncontrollable amount of pain, and then everything went black....
Where did it go wrong?
I remember sitting on the couch...I remember talking to Kevin...I remember thinking things didn't seem right...Why was he there? He ended things with me 2 weeks ago because I wouldn't sleep with him. How did you know my mom would be away for the evening? I only told one person because she wanted to rehearse our duet acting scene for competition...I told her I couldn't because I had to babysit my sister while my mom went to Les Miserables. Why is he here? He shouldn't be in here. I will get into trouble if my mom knew he was here. It's just Kevin. We're not dating anymore. He said he wasn't staying long..he just wanted to talk...Said he missed me...He hurt me when he broke my heart, I'll listen to what he has to say..maybe it will make my heart feel better.
Something doesn't feel right. I'm not taking him back. I don't care if he begs...he's a stupid boy.
I remember sitting on the couch and he sat in the other chair. I remember him telling me he misses me, how much he loves me, how much I make him laugh and that's his favorite thing about me. Aw, how sweet. Stop it! You're not taking him back! Why did he come at me? It happened so fast. He came at me quick and hard. I didn't have time to react, I didn't have time to move, I didn't...
I remember the shove was so hard I fell back and hit my head on the arm of the couch. The arm was hard. It hurt my head and snapped my neck back. Dazed and confused...I shook it off, but before I could come to my senses I remember the massive weight on my chest...Kevin, why is your knee in my chest? Are you trying to help me? Why is all your weight on my chest? Don't you know it hurts and it's hard to breathe? Why are you grabbing my wrists and holding them so tightly? What the HELL is going on? Somebody help me. My head is throbbing. Let me sit up, get me some water, maybe some Tylenol? Kevin, please help me. I thought you were a baseball player...you're being clumsy right now. Why do you keep hurting me while you try to help me? I am so dazed still...As soon I shake this throbbing in my head, I can sit up and figure this out...I am having a hard time breathing now that this pillow is covering my face...I turn my head to the side..there's air over here, but this intense pain shoots through my neck to turn it that way. I don't care...what the hell is happening to me???? Kevin, I am screaming your name, why are you telling me to shut the fuck up? You just said you loved me, you missed me...and holy crap what is that and why does it hurt like hell? "I will get what I came for" is what I remember you saying. This is where I stop breathing...I realize now that you are inside of me and the pain from everything is blindingly numb...I stop breathing and I can't fight anymore...my arms feel like 100 lbs each, I can't lift them, I can't move, I have this sick feeling in my stomach, I can't do anything, then it goes dark...this is where I died...

I come to when I hear the door slam shut. Mom! You're home! Thank God! I fight to get up, there's no one there. The pillow that was on my face has fallen to the floor, my shorts and panties are torn on one side...there's blood running down my leg as gravity takes over...my head is killing me....I start sobbing....
what just happened here? i should have never let him in when he showed up at the door. i am not supposed to have anyone in the house when my parents are not home. he said he just wanted to talk, he would only be a few minutes...it seemed like an eternity...
i have to shower.. i have to scrub this off of me...no one will ever know, maybe it didn't happen...it's just a dream...the shower feels so good...the hotter the better...i scrub and scrub and i still don't feel any better... i can't stop crying...why does it hurt, why did i let him in? why didn't i tell him to talk to me tomorrow at school? I can't believe this all happened with my 5 year old sister in her room. did she wake up? oh my gosh, can my mom tell someone was here? i jump out of the shower, check on my sister, pick up the pillow and place it on the couch. i throw my shorts and stuff away in the trash outside...there's a little blood on the couch...crap! hurry and get this clean! i try the best that i can and i get back in the shower. i touched everything that began the nightmare...i stay in the shower until it goes cold....i slowly dress into some warm pj's and crawl into bed where i cry and relive the nightmare again and again. i hear my mom come in...i close my eyes and pretend to be asleep as she checks in on me...my head is still throbbing. i don't know if it's from hitting it so hard or if it's from the nightmare that went on...i finally fall in and out of sleep...
i still am in bed awake when my mom comes in to find out why i am not up the next morning. i told her i started my period...on the couch. i told her i didn't feel good and that i don't want to go to school. I'm a great actress. that's why i am in LA, to act...she lets me stay home as she takes my sister to school and goes on to work...i spend the whole day in bed...hell is such a lonely place. I spend the next 2 days in bed also. my mom is worried somewhat because i don't eat, i don't get out of bed, i have no desire to do anything, but die. i don't want to go to school to face him...what are my choices? can we just go back home to Texas? i don't have a fever...my mom tells me that i need to face whatever issue i am trying to run away from..get out of bed and go to school. she's smart, but full of blame. i can't ever tell her...it's my fault. this would have never happened if i obeyed rules and never let him in...i carry this burden 18 years later.
I have to face Kevin in Trig. That's how we met. I was the new girl from Texas. We had one class together because he's a Senior and I am just a Sophomore. I used to catch him staring at me in class then he would walk me to my next class downstairs and run back to his class upstairs. I thought it was sweet. His locker is on my way to Biology in the corner. There's no other way to this class. I notice him and his buddies leaning against the locker. Are they waiting for me? Kevin looks over and notices me. My heart jumps to my throat and I stop breathing. I feel dizzy and that nausea feeling returns to my stomach. What's that on his face? It's a huge scratch! Is that from me? Did I truly fight back? Maybe someone will notice and believe ME! He nudges his friend and they all turn and look at me, they stop talking. I am 20 feet away. I can't move and someone bumps into me and I drop my books and papers...they start laughing. I am mortified and run away in tears. I skipped biology that day and other days following. I start to fail. I'm a straight A student....something has to be done. I feel so alone. My first boyfriend ever, Brett, stops me in the hall one day and tells me he has heard a rumor. He's also a Senior. We met the summer before. My heart stops beating. who knows? i haven't said a word! I'm horrified! He says he has heard some things. Brett's heart broken. I can see it in his eyes. He wants to know what's going on. That I haven't been myself the past few weeks. He says I am going through the motions of life, but I am not showing emotion. I stare through him. He tells me my eyes are hollow. He tells me he has never stopped loving me, I burst into tears and run. I run out to the parking lot and jump in my car. I tear past the security guard without stopping. I don't care! What's the worst thing that will happen to me? ISS? I am already alone...I drive down to Studio City where I have an audition...actually its a call back for a new series. I think if I get this, i will be pulled out of school, placed with a tutor, and my problems will be over...I say a quick prayer and go inside.

I died that night back in March. I took my California Proficiency Examination so that I didn't have to have a tutor on set. I passed it and basically received my high school diploma as a Sophomore. I thanked my tutor on the set of a show I did for getting my biology grade back up, I rearranged my classes so I didn't have Trig with Kevin. I didn't have but 1.5 months left of school. I went to Biology even if it meant passing in front of Kevin. I held my breath if he was standing there. I left California right after school was over in June. Hell is a lonely place...I've been there...But I'm a fighter. I fought that night...the scratch on Kevin's face proves it. Be a fighter...the little guy always wins....

Go It Alone

I had such a hard time when I turned 30. There was something about leaving the comfort of my free-loving 20’s that scared the hell out of me. I am so thankful I am not in my 20’s any longer! What is it about those girls that still act like they are reliving their high school days???

I was at an event tonight where there were about 50 beautiful women, most of them in their 20’s. There were just a handful of us that were in our 30’s and you could pretty much pick us out.

I have to go on record and say that Texas has to have some of the most beautiful women out there. On occasion I have had men tell me this very statement as I have traveled the US. I have no idea what the Beach Boys, and later by David Lee Roth, was talking about! I digress.

So I’m at this event…..and a few “recently made popular” boys walk into the room and you would have thought that they were the Jonas Brothers. OK, so maybe not that young, but most of the girls started getting giddy and lost their sense of mind! WTH is wrong with you? That stupid, naive, blonde act will only get you so far. I am hoping the guys were not impressed by all of the stupid behavior, but were probably eating up the attention nonetheless. Who wouldn’t?

So I sit back with a couple of cute girls I had just met. We clicked right away because they were just like me; brass, independent, and confident as hell. It also helps that they live right by me in Grapevine! Yeah Baby!!! We were discussing that had we been in an appropriate setting, we would have had to let some of the girls know that their “styles” needed some help. I’m way off track.

I’m standing there and ask one of my new girls where the restroom was. Out of nowhere this high pitch resonating noise piped up, “I’ll go with you!!!!” “Um, no you don’t have to, I can do it alone.” I think I said this with a pretty disgusted look on my face. “OMG I have to go too, let’s go together!” Someone please shoot me in the head is all I could think of as she grabbed my arm. When is the appropriate time in your life when women do not have to go to the bathroom together? Seriously? I can understand meeting a girl in the bathroom to give her some desperate piece of information before continuing on with her evening, but other than that, lock it up.
Here’s my advice to you, ladies:

• Don’t act like idiots when a boy walks into the room.
• Don’t draw unnecessary attention to yourself.
• Learn to go to the bathroom without your entourage.
• Be confident.

Otherwise someone is going to have to take away my gun. And, of course, I mean this in the most loving manner.

Good night, my pretties.

T

Make It Happen

Sometimes in our lives someone comes along and just sweeps us off our feet. It hits us when we least expect it. Our lives completely get turned upside down but deep down you know things will work out in the long run. Your heart gets caught up in the moment and there's absolutely nothing you can do. You realize it's the one thing your heart was missing to feel complete. Holding back only prolongs the inevitable. Don't fight it. It is what it is. Don't question it. Just go with it. Just let it be.

Nothing Better

Originally posted Aug 29, 2008 @ 3:30 PM
There's nothing better than getting caught in a torential downpour on a warm Texas day. I got out of the car, grabbed my umbrella and started towards the school to grab the boys. Within 2 seconds of getting out of the car, the sky opened up and all hell broke loose. The lightning and thunder crashing just above my head was so loud that it made me jump a mile high. I was instantly soaked before I could open my umbrella. The best part of this is actually when I picked up my boys. There's something about the rain and getting soaked with your boys that brings instant giggles and smiles all around. As we headed out of the school and back to the car, I had both boys clinging to each side of me. I was holding my awesome Louis Vuitton umbrella, but it didn't help because the rain was coming in all directions. All three of us were literally drenched by the time we got to the car. We couldn't stop laughing! I absolutely love the sound of laughter from my boys!

Today I proved my worth as a mother.

I let fun come first.

I let spontaneity rule.

I let my kids go outside and play in the rain.

I let my boys be boys.

It was awesome.

T