Apologies

OMG, FOREVER. It's been about that long since I have even looked at this blog much less thought about it. Oh, wait, there were a couple of instances where I thought, "I should write about this." Then the world kept turning and I've blinked a total of 287345820246 since then and have forgotten what that nonsense I was slightly interested in sharing with you was. I SUCK.
A girlfriend of mine actually admitted to me the other day that she reads my blog and it was SHE who brought it to my attention that I hadn't written in over a month and she needed something funny to read. I could have directed her to all of the blogs that I read, but most are not funny. Just 2 words away from making me want to slit my own wrists on some days. By the tone of her text, I could tell she need not be redirected to any of those.
She then went on to tell me it would me my fault if she died that night and had nothing NEW and FUNNY to read. I think this was right after she said she was driving her car into the next guardrail. BAD DAY?
The only thing I could tell her was to reread the blog from the beginning and do it at a different computer (try at the library) so that way it would maybe feel like it was brand new? I promised her I would write something funny for her funeral.

Quote of the Day

We have fewer friends than we imagine, but more than we know.
~Hugo von Hoffman

Quote of the Day

You can always tell when two people are best friends because they're always having way more fun than it makes sense for them to be having

Quote of the Day

we're NOT perfect.

we laugh too hard.

we're way too loud and we make complete fools of ourselves.

we're much too comfortable with each other,

and a little too close for comfort.

our smiles are genuine,

& we make our drinks too strong.

but somehow we know that being together is whats going to make us last forever

Quote of the Day

'Friends.' A simple word isn't it? It's uttered everyday to almost every person imaginable. Who are your friends? I used to think that friends were the people that you could laugh and talk to. Now I know that friends aren't that, they're the people that touch your heart. You could spend hours with them doing nothing at all and it can be the best time of your life, just because it was with them. They're the people you can share your secrets with, cry with, laugh with, and just have fun with. They don't judge you or make you change. They accept you exactly as you are. They look at you and they see a great person, one they love spending time with. You all share something in common and are tied together by memories, tears, laughs and smiles. You're tied together by love for the other. Friendship is one of the greatest things in the world. I find my time with my friends, the best times of my life. My friends are my heart, my soul, my fun, my laughter, tears, love and my life

Quote of the Day

friendships that have stood not only the test of time but the test of change are surely best

Quote of the Day

friendship only lives within those willing to keep it alive

Quote of the Day

True friendship is when two friends can walk in opposite directions, yet remain side by side

Quote of the Day

How do you know you've found your best friend? When you are ready to talk to them about anything even though they know everything about you already.

Quote of the Day

If it hurts to look back, and it frightens you to look forward, just look beside you and I will be there

Quote of the Day

Good friends support each other when they have been humiliated. Great friends pretend nothing happened in the first place.

Quote of the Day

'Friends.' A simple word isn't it? It's uttered everyday to almost every person imaginable. Who are your friends? I used to think that friends were the people that you could laugh and talk to. Now I know that friends aren't that, they're the people that touch your heart. You could spend hours with them doing nothing at all and it can be the best time of your life, just because it was with them. They're the people you can share your secrets with, cry with, laugh with, and just have fun with. They don't judge you or make you change. They accept you exactly as you are. They look at you and they see a great person, one they love spending time with. You all share something in common and are tied together by memories, tears, laughs and smiles. You're tied together by love for the other. Friendship is one of the greatest things in the world. I find my time with my friends, the best times of my life. My friends are my heart, my soul, my fun, my laughter, tears, love and my life.

Eli Thompson 1973-2009

I know I am a little late in writing this... I have issues...death issues. I don't deal well. When I was struck with the news that a fellow classmate had passed away in a sky-diving accident, I went numb. My heart is still heavy writing this. A friend from high school has died. The news spread like wildfire amongst us and it was numbing. Eli Thompson has died. He died doing what he loved. He was a professional sky-diver and stunt & fly master. He was in Switzerland shooting some footage for a film. He somehow missed his jump from the helicopter to the side of the mountain and died on impact. As sad as it seems, perhaps there is NO OTHER way to go than doing what you love....




I went numb because Eli and I were in the same graduating class in high school. If you're like me, you still think that was a sweet 5 years ago. Well, sometimes, I act like it was 5 years ago. It's scary when people start passing around you that are the same young age. Death is for people my grandparents age...in my head.

Another reason for my numbness is Eli left a gorgeous wife who is expecting their son ANY day now and 2 beautiful, young girls. I couldn't fathom being put in this heart wrenching situation and feeling like I could go on without the love of my life.


Like I said earlier, I don't deal well with death. I found myself trying to find everything I could on Eli in the past 18 years since we all graduated and went on with our lives. It's sad that we all are reuniting so many years later through online facets. Some of you have lived close to each other and have remained in contact since the day we walked across that stage at COC. Others of us moved away and went to college. Our lives took us away from California. Perhaps we didn't look back as soon as we stepped over the state line, or we just didn't care about looking back. Whatever your story is, it's an important one and has molded you into the person you are today regardless of the circumstances.

What I do remember about Eli is that he had blond hair that was sometimes braided. It was about 5 inches long. He was my height and the boy never stopped smiling. I was new to Saugus my junior year of high school winter semester. I swear that boy acted like he knew me forever. He made me feel welcome no matter what others thought of the girl from Texas. Eli knew no social boundaries, he knew no strangers. His heart glowed and you could always see it on his face.

The world still mourns the passing of a beautiful man.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you that life is short, because we all know it. I am going to tell you to absolutely do what you love and to love with all your heart. Don't do anything half-heartedly, it may be your only opportunity to show the world who you truly are. Be a legacy...leave your mark on this world. Make sure it's a great one.


I can put away the pictures, I can put the dreams aside, but I can't seem to get you out of my mind.

T

To make a donation to his family:
http://web.mac.com/sarahfarooqui/web.mac.com_sarahfarooqui/Memorial_Eli.html

I thank my God every time I remember you. Phillipians 1:3

Make It Count

I have said this before, but almost everyday I am constantly reminded of it.

"Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor, coworker, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger), *but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.* And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles, you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart."

I have been asked, "Why didn't I meet you sooner?" I always smile. I want to just say, "The timing wasn't right. Had I come into your life sooner, it still wouldn't have mattered and most likely my heart would have gone unnoticed." A little cheesy I am sure most of you would think. If you just take a moment and look back on your life and the people who have come in and out of it, know that timing had everything to do with it. There is a reason, don't fight it, just embrace it. All I can say when you meet someone special in your life, MAKE EVERY MOMENT COUNT. It will be worth it. I promise.

T

David William Hickman 01/03/1949-06/12/2009

I have a great friend that has recently come back into my life. He seems to always reach out at unexpected moments to make sure that all is right with me. He never ceases to make me smile through a simple email, text message, or comment left on Facebook. He had been eerily quiet for a week or so and I knew something was wrong. Sunday, Jeff let us all know that his father had passed on Friday. I cannot express the grief that Jeff must be enduring. For a guy of Jeff's size and stature, the emotion has rendered him to non-existence. I personally, do not deal with death at all. I have tried on more than one occasion to make sense and grasp at it, but it is still overwhelming. My heart aches for you, Jeff. Know that you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you. Your extended family loves and misses you. Take as much time as you need, the door is open for your return.

David William Hickman 01/03/1949-06/12/2009

Thinking of you.

T

Through My Eyes

Written to my dear friend, Paul, in 2007

We have known each other forever...it seems...(or does it).....As we have reconnected through this lovely on-line haven, memories have flooded my mind...I can never remember any bad memories so I am assuming there weren't any... You have always been a wonderful, well-liked, caring person, it's no wonder you have a million friends and always seem to pick up a few strays along your way.

You have and always will be an awesome and dear friend...I love the way you look at life, most of all I love the way you capture it. You see ugly things and make them beautiful...you see beautiful things and capture them in ways no body ever could see imaginable...you have a gift, my love. I don't think you ever came into my office without a camera in your hand...if you did, it's only because you were in the middle of developing another great moment you had captured. You have given me pics of me I didn't even know you took. I think you even gave some to Micah, Trent, and the rest of the boys in the office to cut up and make fun of me with....oooh how college was fun with you around. How could I not have ever found you sooner? You drove me everywhere, except for the time I test drove that car and drove you around for the afternoon...Every time I left your side I kissed you...I didn't want it to be the last time I saw you...although looking at some of the pics that I have, I see YOU. Every newspaper picture, sports picture, cheer, Scrappy, me, whatever...I see YOU. The times you took me in the dark room just amazed me at what talent and precision you had. What patience and dedication, what pure talent you possessed. It got to a point where I could pick up the newspaper and I could tell if you had taken the picture without looking at the credit. I just knew I would see your name attached to some Time Life Picture of the Year....

I tried forever to find you after college....our lives take us down paths we never imagined that we would choose. It doesn't mean that we've given up...just a new journey to fulfill our lives...or does it?

I always said, I didn't care what I did, I just wanted to enjoy getting up everyday and go to a job I absolutely couldn't wait to get to...I had it for awhile, then things changed and it was just a job I went to....I'm in sales and part of me gets to do what I love to do most everyday....act. That's all it is...acting...

You're right, the work isn't ever done...you say you slave and slave, but after one big project only comes a bigger one...and you're back to the stress, working long hours, it only gets deeper and darker and you're sucked in. And life sucks the very essence of your soul until you say "fuck it" and walk away...

You are successful, you don't need material objects to make you happy, or to prove your success...just like we don't need stupid paper on the wall that tells how much money we spent on college. We don't need photographs to show each other how pretty we are...we already know this...it's a given phenomenon!! hahaha

I am not ashamed of you...I am so proud that you recognize your self worth. You recognize that maybe everything isn't as it seems and you're scared shitless of any change...Jump in the pool with me, my friend, the water is warm...

Your success is not measured in the amount of material objects you can see and touch, but by the fullness of your heart. 2 things to remember about "stuff"...You can't take it with you when you go and everything is replaceable...

You know more than what you think you know, my dear...you have a high opinion, but where is your self esteem? Where is the friend who used to lift my spirit after my arguments with Judy on how to run a fucking college paper? I know deadlines and I also know money...money is what gives us a deadline...and "if I want the whole damn paper to be in color, damn it I'll wait all night for these ads to come in!!" That's why I kicked ass and took names along the way...that's why I'm not in advertising anymore...

I KNOW you...I seriously KNOW you. You like Nascar, Bueno, beer, and naked photos of women...oh, that's taking naked photos of women...sorry. Who cares if the people around you start to know you? When did you start giving a damn to what people think? Who says good people don't deserve good things? Who said your degree had to match your job? We'd all be screwed!!! You're good at many things, you only give yourself credit for just a few...

Be open and honest with yourself...what makes you truly happy? Where will that take you in life? Can you take a step back and ask yourself this without compromising your values, ethics, and morals? What do you truly believe in? You need to start with believing in yourself. Like I do. I believe in you. I love you and absolutely adore you. You're an amazing person with uncanny wit. You make me laugh. You're a light and we all have dim days...You make me want to jump in that green Camaro, pull the top off and sing "Pour Some Sugar On Me" the whole way to Florida at high volume just to see you smile...because I would do it if you said the word....and if I had a green Camaro...

There are forks, my friend, you just have to know which path to choose, believe in yourself as you choose it, and know it was taken for a reason. Robert Frost knew what he was talking about...Leave your own trail...autograph your work...leave a legacy...have no regrets...

You are a good person...you have no idea how many of us strays that you have picked up along your journey that you have truly touched....It's through your eyes I have seen such beauty...

"I thank my God every time I remember you." Philippians 1:3

Always,

T

Go Cowboys, Go! Go!

Originally posted August 28, 2008


Last night I met Brandon for the Cowboys game. We were about an hour late because of the school meetings I had and his dinner program he had to attend. About an hour into the game, my girlfriend, Lori, called and needed my help. She has just gone through a breakup and needed a friend. Lori has been there through A LOT with me and I knew there was no chance I was going to let her down....but then there was this boy....Didn't I say in a previous post that your girls will understand when you break a date with them to go out with a guy??? I turned to Brandon and all he said was "Go. She needs you." I was shocked! I kissed him quickly and was off to meet my girl. She was waiting for me at the edge of her driveway and she got into my car. "I need a drink and to laugh." You can always count on me for the latter part of that sentence. We left to go to Primo's to sit on the patio and have a couple of margarita's. I didn't let her discuss any issues that were bringing her down. We immediately ran into Big AL, a Dallas DJ, who bought us our first round of margarita's after several hugs. He introduced us to Brian from LA who became our instant companion the rest of the evening. Lori and I laughed until the wee hours of the morning. We got to the nitty gritty of things early this morning over coffee. I passed on some awesome advice that a very wise person passed on to me. I let her read some letters that I wrote that helped me in the process of it all. It conjured up some emotions for me, but I was able to help her understand the reasoning behind it all. My main advice to her was this:

Surround yourself with good people and they will help you come through. Time will heal all your heartache. Let go of any anger and resentment, otherwise, you're scarred with bitterness that you will carry forward. Remember what was good about that person. It's why you fell in love with them in the first place; hold that in your heart as you move forward.

Hugs all around.

T

You've Got A Friend In Me

Originally posted August 3, 2008 8:58 AM

OK, Listen up, and LISTEN UP GOOD. I want to talk about something near and dear to my heart and that's my girls.... We all have friends, it's part of the essence of life. We all have GOOD friends...you know, the ones that pick you up from the airport at 3 in the morning when your plane is 3 hours past due, the ones that let you sleep on their couch because going home is not an option, the ones that take you to lesbian bars so you don't have to deal with guys hitting on you, who pick up the phone at all hours to just listen, the ones that do retail therapy with you, and the ones that sit by the fire listening to your "story" while they make their husband make you breakfast at 6:30 AM on a Saturday. These girls are near and dear to my heart. Like I said, we all have them...BUT are they REALLY friends? Let me explain.

I don't have a MySpace, but I do have a Facebook. My girlfriends allowed me to navigate through their Myspace pages for research. I think it's funny that people actually have mega-stars, B-class and even C-class stars as their "Top Friends." Seriously people, what dream world do you live in? I guess everyone's idea of a "Top Friend" is different than mine. I also see that many people have anywhere between 300-8000 friends. WOW!!!! I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I had to keep up with that many people. Do people believe in cyberspace popularity?

Everyone needs a good friend. Even if it's just one. This friend will shoot it straight from the hip and not hold back. You can't get mad at this person because they are technically saving you from embarrassment, humiliation, social failure, perhaps even death....Have you ever asked someone, "Do I look fat in this outfit?" If they say yes, they're awesome! Why get angry? If you don't want to know, don't ask! They're just helping you out by letting you know that perhaps you need to change your clothes....or "to get on a scale and whatever the number reads subtract 25 from it." Friends don't let you buy bad clothes when you're shopping, let you wear your hair a certain way, or continue to date that loser. My close girls, (or "hookers" as my term of endearment for them) will always ask me, "Do you want to hear what you want to hear or what you need to hear." They'll tell me either/or depending on my emotional and mental state. In reality, I want them to always tell me what I need to hear. I'm blunt and will tell you exactly how it is. I'm not a heartless bitch. I will always speak the truth in love. I will follow up bad news with something positive. It's how I am. As I'm writing this, my friend's son is sitting across the room on his laptop singing away when my ears start to bleed. I asked him to quiet down because I couldn't hear myself think. He says, "Some of my friends tell me I sing really well." I told him he needed new friends, but that he had good taste in music. I saved him from auditioning for American Idol and humiliation and saved myself from complete hearing loss. You're welcome.

What's that saying, "Hoes before bros?" Ummm, I don't think so. I don't know how many times I've told a girlfriend that it's OK that we break plans because an opportunity with a boy came up. Hello?? I'm not going to keep you from complete bliss! I can't fulfill that need for my girlfriends! So for all of you who are hurt when your girlfriend cancels plans with you for plans with a guy, don't take it personal, you're contributing to the success of her romantic tantric mantra. God Bless.

So let me wrap this up and bring it on home for you. When you and your crowd are sitting on the patio having dinner and drinks somewhere and you're sizing up everyone and commenting on their faults, make sure these girls will have the same guts to turn to you and to your face tell you the same. It's what matters most. It's those independent, strong, fearless girls that will weather every storm with you by your side. They're the ones that will be there for your 50th wedding anniversary making sure you look as radiant as the day you did when you went on your first date...the ones that said not to date the loser but you did anyway and it worked. Hey, I said to make sure you had friends that wouldn't be afraid to tell you like it is, I didn't say they were always right. ;)