Memorial Day Weekend

 

May was a busy month. I know, I know, I've heard it all, "Everyone is busy but THEY have time to get things done...." OR "You don't work, what do you NOT have time for?" SHUT YOUR FACE, OK? I try and keep an immaculate house. I organize and reorganize closets because there is still room to fit some of Huck's sh!t inside of it because I can't throw everything away at once. Clueless. Everyone needs to hang out with me for a day to see what I do and the amount of Cheetos I consume. The iPad has a TON of cool applications I have found and I've also walked the dog. Actually, I went to Texas twice. and I've been building a wall. You would think I was a professional by the looks of the wall I built around my heart, but NO, dirt is much more tricky then any boy who's ever walked into my life. Seriously, A REAL WALL. There are some instances where I just sit and watch HUCK sweat, and then there are mornings when I'm in a dress and flip flops in the pouring rain trying to put the finishing pieces to the ground level in the front. Hot, huh?

Anyway, my second trip to Texas was over Memorial Day weekend. By the time I landed it felt like seconds before I was leaving again. I hate trips like that only because I don't feel like I even breathed. This trip was to go to my Ex-husband's wedding. Yes, you read that right, MY EX-HUSBAND'S WEDDING. I was gung-ho when I told Dougie that I would make it back and bring Huck along for the ride. As soon as the plane started to descend, I had this gut-punch feeling come over me and it was like I opened my eyes for the first time at what I was actually coming home for. WTF am I doing? Can we turn this plane around and I'll just send a gift and a card? How am I going to make this event NOT ABOUT ME? Seriously, I got through it and had a great time. We laughed and laughed about anything and everything. I introduced Huck to Billy Bob's. He learned what a honky tonk was after much discussion on why it was better than being called a cracker tonk. He had never been to a bar with Bull-riding in it, and we actually saw a concert by a Filipino-American C&W artist, Neal McCoy. He had Texas overload by the time we stumbled back through the Stockyards to the truck. My favorite part of the whole wedding was when strangers would ask me how I knew the bride and groom and I would cheerfully say, "I'm Doug's ex-wife!" Huck thought it better to say I was Doug's baby's momma.

PRICELESS.

Mischief Maker

Tax day came and went without a hitch.  When I say "without a hitch", I mean, I didn't do them, my dad did and, also, because I had my Middle Sister to help get me through it.  She's the best...so much that I went and bought all of her kind at Target, the only place I can find her round these them parts. I'm a personal fan of Mischief Maker, the Cabernet.  They have several variety of wines and you can even go to the website and take a quiz to see which one you are most like. Just look at her, she's the sister I wish I had!  I can't help that I want to relax with her every night.  If Huck is lucky, he may just end up with a threesome.

Nothing Better

Originally posted Aug 29, 2008 @ 3:30 PM
There's nothing better than getting caught in a torential downpour on a warm Texas day. I got out of the car, grabbed my umbrella and started towards the school to grab the boys. Within 2 seconds of getting out of the car, the sky opened up and all hell broke loose. The lightning and thunder crashing just above my head was so loud that it made me jump a mile high. I was instantly soaked before I could open my umbrella. The best part of this is actually when I picked up my boys. There's something about the rain and getting soaked with your boys that brings instant giggles and smiles all around. As we headed out of the school and back to the car, I had both boys clinging to each side of me. I was holding my awesome Louis Vuitton umbrella, but it didn't help because the rain was coming in all directions. All three of us were literally drenched by the time we got to the car. We couldn't stop laughing! I absolutely love the sound of laughter from my boys!

Today I proved my worth as a mother.

I let fun come first.

I let spontaneity rule.

I let my kids go outside and play in the rain.

I let my boys be boys.

It was awesome.

T

Goin Old School Baby!

Originally posted in August 2008




Awww yeah. Going home from Susan's tonight this song came on the radio and it instantly took me back to 1991. I have to give a little shout out to my old alma mater, Saugus High School in Saugus, CA. Good times. This picture was taken less than a year ago...I just put it on 2 weeks ago and it still fits! Yeah baby! GO Saugus! GO! GO!

Okay, I'm done. :)

T

Good Morning!!!!!

originally posted August 27, 2008

"Still at home being lazy....u should be here giving me a reason to not go to work today," lit up my phone as I was driving the kids to school this morning. An instant smile spread across my face. I wrote back, "In school zone...are you trying to get me a ticket?" (You can't be on your phone talking or texting in a school zone in the great state of Texas....big, big, fines...HUGE!) "Then you better hurry your ass over here....I'll be waiting under the sheets." MmMmMmMm delectable. Funny thing is I was extremely tired this morning staying up late chatting with friends in the West. I quickly showered, threw on a little sundress, a little mascara, pulled my hair up in a clip with my side swept drama bangs tucked neatly behind my ear. A quick glance over in the mirror got my approval. I looked cute enough to meet one of my girlfriends out for lunch, but I never expected THIS!!! "Dropping the kids off at school, be there in a few." OMG!!! I haven't seen Brandon since he kissed me on the lips late Saturday evening standing in the rain. We've spoken daily since, but it's been chaotic with both of our kids having started school this week. We have plans to meet up Thursday evening after Curriculum night and a PTA meeting (isn't life sexy?) So we'll be a little late to the Cowboy game....if we make it at all! :) There's been something about this boy that has kept me smiling since I have been home.

Focus, T, Focus...

So away I went after I dropped the boys off to their respective classrooms and took care of some more paperwork in the office. A slight nod and gracious smile from the dad that walked into the office and stood behind me. I was practically skipping to the car!

I slipped into Brandon's house quietly and made my way back to his bedroom where I found him nestled under a sheet covering just enough to know what was there. He was on his back propped up on some pillows. I could see the outline of his obliques relaxed just lying there, and he had his laptop open next to him on the bed. "You better not be working." I said as I approached the bed. He slipped his left hand up the back of my dress and rubbed my leg all the way up to my lower back, "No panties?" Before I could answer he pulled me to him on the bed. He kissed me as I stabilized myself over him, his hand still up my dress. He rolled me over pulling the sheet out from between us. He sat back to look at me. He smiled as he pulled my dress up over my head. He took a long look at me from head to toe, "Beautiful." He grabbed my hands and held them above my head on the pillows as he leaned in and began kissing my neck. I turned my head so it could easily be achieved. After a few moments, I turned to look at him as he looked back and smiled then gently kissed my lips again as he lowered his body on top of mine....

Again, the beautiful moments that followed are genuinely mine. I'll let the details dance in your imagination. I will tell you that this boy has toe curling capabilities....

What a way to start my day!

T

Returning Home

Originally posted August 23, 2008 11:15 PM

I’ll be home in the morning” I text Brandon from the airport waiting to board. A few minutes later my phone vibrated, “What time will you be in? I’ll pick you up.” I smiled. “5:30, is that OK?” I sent to him. “I’ll be waiting.” Is what I got back. My body exhaled a huge rush of relief. I had been so tense the past 48 hours. I had been on the go. It wasn’t until I was waiting to get on the airplane that I noticed I hadn’t eaten in 2 days except for a bag of fruit snacks I had in my purse. I hadn’t slept either. I had been trying to arrange for movers, my car to get transported, and finish packing as quickly as I could. I was asleep in seat 4F, before the wheels left the ground.
I arrived at DFW at 5:37 AM. Even though I had slept on the plane, it was fitful. My body so desperately needed more. I came off the plane to see Brandon standing in baggage claim with his hands behind his back and that quirky smile he has. “Welcome home, darlin’ you look like shit.”

“Thanks for the warm welcome, where’s the band?” I replied.
“No band, just this” and he handed me a single hot pink Gerber daisy that he was holding in his hand behind his back. “And this,” as he planted a kiss on my forehead.

“Thank you.” I whispered as my body fell into his.

“Let’s get your luggage and get you into bed.”
“I’ve been home for all of 3 minutes and you’re already trying to get me in bed! Wow, what a record!” I laughed, but I knew he meant good.
“Baby doll, if I looked like you did, I would want someone to put me away for a long while. Plus you’re no good to Jake and Ethan when you’re this tired. What time do you need to get them?”
“I get them around 1. Doug just said for me to call.”
“Good. That gives us time to eat some breakfast. You look like you haven’t eaten in days.”
“I haven’t.” I whispered.

He grabbed my suitcases and we walked to the car. He opened my door and before he let me in he wrapped his arms around me and said, “I know its been rough. I’m not going to ask. In due time you will tell me everything. I’m here to help if you need it. I’m here for you.” Melt, melt, melt. My eyes filled up with tears, but I choked them back. “I know Brandon. You were the only person I called. Thank you…for everything.”
He threw my suitcases in the car and away we went for breakfast. I passed on La Madeleine and ventured for IHOP. Brandon was quite surprised at my choosing. I wasn’t really hungry and I didn’t want to not appreciate good food from La Madeleine. He understood. “You’re going to eat something.”
We sat down in the booth that the hostess walked us to. We giggled at the other patrons around us. We were probably the youngest by far. Brandon handed me a menu and said “Whatever you order, you will eat. We are not taking it home either.”

“Brandon, I’m not really hungry. I don’t have the desire for food.”
“I don’t care. For God sakes T, you’re wearing your skinny jeans and they’re loose on you!”
My eyes grew wider and a slight smile grew across my face. I played mischievous, “I don’t wear skinny jeans. I don’t own a pair.”
“Don’t play dumb with me. I know you. And by that smile that you tried to suppress, I know you know what I’m talking about. You are wearing those jeans you keep in your closet. The ones that when you gain a little weight, they’re your “goal” jeans. You know you have lost that added weight when you can fit into them again. Yes, I know you. And they’re too big in the butt and in your waist. For God’s sakes, T, they’re hanging below your hip bones!!!”

I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry and he didn’t know if he should hug me or slap me. So we just sat in silence for a second when I whispered, “I know.” We made small talk until our food came.
I devoured my chocolate chip pancakes, bacon, and Orange Juice without realizing it and Brandon just sat with his cup of coffee and watched. “Wow, for someone who wasn’t hungry, you sure put those away quickly. You didn’t even offer me a bite!” I smiled sheepishly. I didn’t realize I had eaten the whole thing. I had just kind of picked at it for awhile we talked about the kids and the start of the school year the upcoming week, football for my boys, & cheerleading for his girls. We talked about everything but my trip to Seattle and the events that unfolded there. Brandon paid the bill and we were off to his house.
It was about 6:45 when we pulled up to his house. I was dead asleep leaning against the door. He came around and slowly opened my door and unbuckled my seat belt. He scooped me into his arms and carried me into the house and to his bedroom. I stirred and he set me down so he could pull the bedding back for me to crawl in to. I started towards the bed and he stopped me. He grabbed my face and was about to kiss me. In the last second he pulled himself back and just kissed me on the tip of my nose. “I’m sorry. I know you’re not ready.” I wrapped my arms around him and said, “Thank you. Thank you for acknowledging that.” He rested his chin on the top of my head for a moment before he pulled away. “Get into bed and sleep.” I pulled off my jeans and standing there in just my t-shirt, he smiled. I crawled into bed and he wrapped the covers around me as he sat on the edge. “Don’t be afraid to ask for anything, T.” I closed my eyes and was out before I knew that Brandon had kissed my forehead again and slipped out the room closing the door behind him.
I woke when my phone vibrated on the nightstand next to the bed a couple of hours later. It was 11:30. Brandon had brought in my phone and my computer and plugged them both in. There was a glass of water and a small vase with my Gerber daisy sitting in it next to where I had slept. He poked his head in the door as he probably had done several times over the last couple of hours while I had been sleeping. “Good morning, sleepy head.”

“Hi.” I smiled.

“Need anything?” He was crossing the room towards me. “You were out.” I came through here several times and you never once budged.”

“I was tired.”

“Do you want to shower before you get the boys?” he said shaking his head yes as he was answering for me.

“Do I smell that bad?” I laughed.

He laughed and replied, “You have that ‘I’ve been up for hours upon hours and traveled 2000 miles’ smell.”
I pulled back the covers, “OK, OK. I’ll shower.” In the corner was my suitcase opened neatly. I turned and just smiled. No one has ever taken care of me quite like this. He has thought of everything. “I hope you know I’m not staying here, B.”
“I know, I just didn’t want you to have to dig something out of it in the car. So I brought it in.” He seemed kind of hurt by my sternness.
“Thanks. I appreciate you. I appreciate everything you have done here. You don’t know how much this really means to me right now.” Before I could gain composure I was trembling and tears were spilling from my eyes. I couldn’t stop. It was the release I knew was coming, I just didn’t know when. He crossed the room in perhaps 3 giant steps and wrapped his arms around me tightly. “SHHHH. Let it go, I didn’t mean to upset you this way. “ I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t say a single word. My heart was heavy and I just cried. I cried for all of the anger that was built up inside of me. I cried for all the frustration, I cried for all of the hurt and destruction, and I cried because I was simply exhausted.

I quickly showered and changed into my swimsuit, a t-shirt, and a pair of shorts. I threw my flip flops on and we were off to get the boys and head out to the pool. I could see Brandon looking at me while we drove to Doug’s. He would reach out and grab my knee and squeeze it and smile. “Everything is going to be OK. You’ll see. It can only get better from here, T.”“I know. I don’t want to think about anything today. I’m not going to worry til next week. I just want to relax this weekend. I promise I will tell you everything. My heart hurts right now and I don’t want to open it back up. I want to move on and let time do its thing. Can you understand that?”“Absolutely. We have all the time in the world.” Quickly changing the subject he asked, “You hungry?” I must have shot him the look from hell because he just laughed.

We got to Doug’s and the boys were immediately bounding out of the house and into my arms as I was just getting out of the car. I was so excited to see them and be “home.” Ethan was all chatter about something as he was tugging on Brandon’s shirt as we all walked to the pool in the backyard. Doug was lighting the grill to cook hamburgers and hot dogs. I offered to run to the store and pick up any “extras,” but Deven said they had everything needed. We swam and played for about 2 hours before the sun decided to duck in and out from behind the clouds. The storm clouds were gathering in the distance and you could smell the rain in the air. I love the rain storms in Texas in the summertime. I was excited. It became darker and darker and I made the boys get out. We ate and all sat around and chit chatted about nothing in particular. I was growing tired again and we all went inside to watch movies and perhaps nap on the couch. The boys lay on the floor while we watched Shrek the 3rd. It seemed kind of odd with Deven and Doug on one couch and Brandon and I on the other. Brandon and I lay at opposite ends from each other. I felt it only right in front of the boys. Brandon noticed the blisters that had formed on my feet from my move. How it happened, I have no idea, but I ended up with about 4 blisters on each foot. He tried bursting them, but they were too painful still so he just rubbed my feet instead. I was asleep instantly. We all slept. It was awesome.

It’s been an awesome first day home. I was anxious to get here. I was excited to see my boys. It hit home tonight when we were all outside in this torrential downpour. It was about 91 degrees outside and the rain began blowing in sideways. We were laughing and splashing each other and just having a great time. The 4 of us played this mock game of tag type touch football in the street at my dad’s house. We were having a great time when Brandon grabbed my arm and said, “They’re so excited you’re home. That you’re staying home and you’re not going back. You’re not going back are you?” He was almost yelling this because the rain was so loud and the kids were still laughing. “Jake has made such a big deal about you ‘coming home’ today. He made 2 comments tonight at dinner with Doug and Deven. I don’t know if you picked up on it.” He continued. “He doesn’t want you to leave. None of us do.” I grabbed his hand and squeezed it, “I’m not going anywhere for quite awhile. I promise.” We continued running, playing in the rain. We laughed so much at the silliness of it all. I felt a huge release of stress. I stopped because my sides ached from laughing so hard. I stopped to watch the boys dodge and duck from getting tagged. I smiled. Yeah, it was good to finally be home.

T

Get Away

Originally posted August 11, 2008 7:20 PM


There are times in your life when getting away is essential. I'm not talking about just taking a quick vacation, because you truly don't always get "away." I went to Mexico with my dad and my aunt back in April and I still took my computer. I blogged everyday about what went on. I even wrote a VERY provocative story that maybe one day I will post and let you read. It's HOT. I have a girlfriend that admitted to me that when she goes to Hawaii with her husband, she still checks her email on her phone when her husband goes in to take a shower! She works for Microsoft, but no job is that important to not get away once in awhile.
I got away on Friday and literally walked away from my cell phone, my computer, and even the TV. If only the kids could've stayed.....Nah! That would have been too easy. :) When you get out to the lake do you really need these items even if you did get connection? Not if you were with a delicious someone like I was. Remember the trench coat story a few days ago??? Well, like I predicted, he called....and invited me to his lake house. My kids, his kids, one big happy family. Not romantic enough for you??? I beg to differ.

When a boy wants you, he truly wants you. He makes it hard to keep his hands off you while the kids are around. There are a lot of group hugs so that he can just touch me. It's the subtle touches that make my heart flutter and want to rip his clothes off even more. While passing each other while I am making dinner he will drop his hand and let it graze across my hips as he passes by me on the way to the refrigerator. He pulls the hair out of my eyes and places it behind my ear because he thinks it's bothering me. He rests his foot on top of mine under the table while we eat dinner. The best is his way to sneak a kiss to the back of my neck while he stands behind me helping me wash the dishes while the kids play by the water during those last moments of sunlight. I also play a little part in this to help move things along....You know, not making my life vest tight enough so that he has to do it for me, forgetting a towel while I'm in the shower and he has to bring one to me....this one was a favorite. Of course he did the occasional untying of my swimsuit as he walked by me on the boat. That only made the kids laugh and try it themselves...

Sometimes you can just see it in the way he looks at you no matter where you are, what you are doing, or what you look like.

Because there was no form of communication to bother or distract us all weekend long, we were able to concentrate on our kids and each other. It was awesome.

Romantic is sitting on the deck in a swing looking at the stars on a warm Texa s night with my head in his lap while he just runs his fingers through my hair. It's late and all of the kids are down for the night. He makes me seem like I am the only one around. While although this is where he could have ripped my clothes off and thrown me down right there on the dock, he wanted nothing more than to just sit and talk and gently touch me. Okay, okay, so it wasn't until after midnight that he led me to the end of the pier and made love to me. I knew it would eventually happen; I just had to be patient. :)

T