Just One More Day...

Her name is Katie Kirkpatrick, 21 yrs old. Next to her is her fiancée, Nick, 23.

This picture was taken prior to their wedding January 11th, 2005, 5 years ago today.

Katie has terminal cancer and spends hours in chemotherapy.

Here Nick awaits while she finishes one of the sessions.

Even in pain and dealing with her organs shutting down, with the help of morphine, Katie took care of every single wedding planning. Her dress had to be adjusted several times due to Katie's constant weight loss

An unexpected guest was her oxygen tank. Katie had to use it during the ceremony and reception. The other couple in this picture are Nick's parents, very emotional with the wedding and of course to see their son marrying the girl he fell in love when he was an adolescent.

Katie, in a wheel chair listening to her husband and friends singing to her.

In the middle of the party Katie had to rest for a bit and catch her breath. The pain doesn't allow her to stand for long period of time.

Katie died 5 days after her wedding. To see a fragile woman dress as a bride with a beautiful smile makes you think... happiness is always there within reach, no matter how long it lasts.....lets enjoy life and don't make it complicated. Life is too short.

Work as if it was your first day

Forgive as soon as possible

Love without boundaries

Laugh without control

and

never stop smiling even if you don't know the reason.

Please pray for those suffering from cancer. We all have someone close to our heart who has suffered or is currently suffering from cancer. Prayers are always answered. Please feel free to post this powerful message for awareness.

We can't control the future only the present, and even then we are not in control. Make everyday count and live it as if it was your last. Just like Katie.

Always,

T

One Foot In Front of the Other

I was written a letter by someone who read my blog and it deeply touched me. It touched me in such a way that I actually carry it with me. I choke back tears every single time I read it. I want to share it with you, perhaps in some sort of way, it can encourage you.

Honest. Tough to deal with on many levels...not because of the infidelity (I understand your need to be close to someone). Difficult from the perspective that you found every reason to be happy and yet you were completely miserable. That can lead to harsh questions about yourself and the path that your life is taking and that, alone can raise doubts that are hard to dismiss. I can tell that the affair was hard on your estimate of yourself. Guilt is what you feel when you think someone should be looking. It's the little governor within that keeps us between the lines and often in our own private hell. But for all its moral outrage and self recriminations Guilt is not Truth, it is a judgement we make about our behavior in the absence of others. A kind of place holder judgement for when our courage will allow us to discover the truth. It has nothing to do with the reality of the situation and the truth about how you really feel.

I have no doubt that you loved your ex-husband with every fiber of your being. I have no doubt that somewhere along the line the love you shared was not enough to sustain you...for whatever the reason...and your choices cascaded from that sense of lack between you...THE LACK WAS NOT IN YOU...but between you. The hard part to accept is that maybe that lack would have turned to sufficiency with time, or with a word or with an act of faith and courage. That is not knowable. That grief will lay fresh within until time dulls the sharp wound to an ache. That ache will be the reminder that you have loved and lost. Nothing more, nothing less. Grieve for the love you lost and shed all the tears you can muster but Forgive yourself...You did nothing wrong. It failed to work out long before the affair. And that's okay.

"You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear. Do it! Develop an appreciation for the present moment. Seize every second of your life and savor it. Value your present moments. Using them up in any self-defeating ways means you've lost them forever."

Wayne Dyer

Author and Speaker

T

9/11 Remembered

This morning, as I drove Ethan to school, I was remembering where I was eight years ago when the attacks came. I was in the hospital. I had just given birth to Ethan the day before....not even 24 hours. My physician had come in to check on me and had said we were just attacked by terrorists as he turned on the t.v. In my state of semi-consciousness and sleep depravity I thought he said, "We were attacked by Paris." I sat up and as I rubbed my eyes, I saw the second plane hit the second tower. I sat bewildered wondering what I had just brought my new son into.

I can remember my parents discussing where they were when they learned that John F. Kennedy had been killed. These are moments seared in memory and transformative in the tragic pain of a nation. I suspect that is how my grandparents felt when they learned about Pearl Harbor.

It seems like just yesterday this tragedy occurred. I was just wondering how we should regard the tragedy of September 11, 2001 eight years later? Certainly we should be respectful of those whose grief was so great that is seems more like yesterday than eight years past. They deserve our prayers and tender thoughts. We also should remember those whose lives were cut short that day. Their deaths deprive us all of the promise of their lives. In addition, I think eight years is long enough to gain some perspective and to ask some of the tough questions we were not able to ask in the pain and shock of the moment. You know the questions; they have lingered at the edge of your consciousness for a long time. Maybe you even dared to ask them in the presence of people you trust enough to be vulnerable with. However, the tough questions have never been asked aloud in the public discourse of this nation. Now an atmosphere of partisanship has been created that will ensure that any politician who dares to engage the tough issues is certain to be painted as unpatriotic and un-American.

Eight years ago, the world rallied to our side. "Nous sommes tous Americans"—We are all Americans—read the headlines in French newspapers. Could different leadership have brought the world together to address the core issues that feed terrorist hatred or that create the conditions in which it flourishes? Would Muslim extremists find recruits or an audience if the world regarded Western nations as kind, benevolent and generous rather than as selfish, materialist consumers?

I guess the hardest question of all on this anniversary is this: Did we end up with the leaders we really deserve? I know that true transformation must begin within. Tragedies can be the motivator to change, or they can reinforce our defensiveness. Which one happens is always our toughest choice.

T

Eli Thompson 1973-2009

I know I am a little late in writing this... I have issues...death issues. I don't deal well. When I was struck with the news that a fellow classmate had passed away in a sky-diving accident, I went numb. My heart is still heavy writing this. A friend from high school has died. The news spread like wildfire amongst us and it was numbing. Eli Thompson has died. He died doing what he loved. He was a professional sky-diver and stunt & fly master. He was in Switzerland shooting some footage for a film. He somehow missed his jump from the helicopter to the side of the mountain and died on impact. As sad as it seems, perhaps there is NO OTHER way to go than doing what you love....




I went numb because Eli and I were in the same graduating class in high school. If you're like me, you still think that was a sweet 5 years ago. Well, sometimes, I act like it was 5 years ago. It's scary when people start passing around you that are the same young age. Death is for people my grandparents age...in my head.

Another reason for my numbness is Eli left a gorgeous wife who is expecting their son ANY day now and 2 beautiful, young girls. I couldn't fathom being put in this heart wrenching situation and feeling like I could go on without the love of my life.


Like I said earlier, I don't deal well with death. I found myself trying to find everything I could on Eli in the past 18 years since we all graduated and went on with our lives. It's sad that we all are reuniting so many years later through online facets. Some of you have lived close to each other and have remained in contact since the day we walked across that stage at COC. Others of us moved away and went to college. Our lives took us away from California. Perhaps we didn't look back as soon as we stepped over the state line, or we just didn't care about looking back. Whatever your story is, it's an important one and has molded you into the person you are today regardless of the circumstances.

What I do remember about Eli is that he had blond hair that was sometimes braided. It was about 5 inches long. He was my height and the boy never stopped smiling. I was new to Saugus my junior year of high school winter semester. I swear that boy acted like he knew me forever. He made me feel welcome no matter what others thought of the girl from Texas. Eli knew no social boundaries, he knew no strangers. His heart glowed and you could always see it on his face.

The world still mourns the passing of a beautiful man.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you that life is short, because we all know it. I am going to tell you to absolutely do what you love and to love with all your heart. Don't do anything half-heartedly, it may be your only opportunity to show the world who you truly are. Be a legacy...leave your mark on this world. Make sure it's a great one.


I can put away the pictures, I can put the dreams aside, but I can't seem to get you out of my mind.

T

To make a donation to his family:
http://web.mac.com/sarahfarooqui/web.mac.com_sarahfarooqui/Memorial_Eli.html

I thank my God every time I remember you. Phillipians 1:3